


Politics of Love

by eternalbreath



Category: Final Fantasy X-2
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 06:21:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9165811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eternalbreath/pseuds/eternalbreath
Summary: Gippal kisses Baralai in view of the entire world during a tumultuous political time to save him from an incredibly awkward date. To prevent his carefully laid plans from going askew, Baralai has to pretend to date Gippal, when all he really wants is to date him for real.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Spindizzy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spindizzy/gifts).



The water in the blitz sphere shimmered in the early afternoon sun, throwing rainbows around the packed stadium. A child had lost some balloons; Baralai watched them drift up as the low rumble of thousands of people waiting for the game to start washed over him. Baralai leaned back in his seat. Next to him, Gippal was staring up at the stadium screens, watching the pre-game interviews with the players, his head tilted back so the muscles in his neck stood out in sharp relief.

Baralai swallowed and chided himself for looking as if he had the right to leer at Gippal in public. He distracted himself by reaching into the bag of popcorn in Gippal's lap, grinning when Gippal grabbed his wrist. Baralai smiled at the warmth of his grip.

"You said you didn't want any," Gippal said, mouth a wicked curve. Baralai resisted looking directly at it. "I offered to buy you some and you said no."

"I'd rather steal yours." Baralai attempted an innocent look, but Gippal only frowned at him. "It's more delicious that way."

"Yes, but you're stealing my food."

"Like you didn't spend last month's banquet stealing food off my plate," Baralai said, pleased Gippal hadn't let him go yet. "I thought the Guado were going to turn purple. At this point, I'm allowed to steal your food any time as payment for resolving political incidents."

"They gave me that weird purple fish," Gippal said, and wrinkled his nose.

"You should have responded to the invitation properly. It was a sit down dinner."

"Are we here to watch a blitzball game or here to listen to you both spat?" Nooj asked from behind them. He looked down on them with cold stares when Baralai tilted his head back, but even upside down he could tell Paine was amused and Nooj was just being a jerk for the sake of riling Gippal up. He got a look in his eye. Baralai knew that look.

"You love our spats," Gippal said. "Also, who says "spat" anymore, Grandpa?"

"Well, pause whatever it is because here come Shelinda," Paine warned. "Last thing you want is her misunderstanding your argument and ending up in the news right now."

Baralai straightened to see Shelinda, walking determinedly up the stairs near where they were sitting, eyes locked on their group. She didn't have her recording crew or her camera with her, but that didn't mean anything anymore. Her memory terrified him. She'd been spending a lot of time around the office the last few weeks because, Baralai assumed, she was about to launch another story that would leave him buried in paperwork. Even as he despaired, he was impressed with her tenacity and work ethic. He just wished it was a little less focused on New Yevon.

"This is why we should have used my box seats," Baralai said.

"So relatable." Gippal pushed Baralai's hand away from his popcorn, but softened it by leaning toward him and pressing their shoulders together. He tilted the bag where Baralai could reach. "New Yevon Praetor gives political allies special treatment at opening match of the blitz season! Is he out of touch with the youths?"

"Shut up," Baralai said, and stopped himself from shifting closer to Gippal. "I should have invited Yuna to sit with us. Then we would've been invisible."

"Rikku has one of those foam things to cheer Tidus on," Paine said. "Be grateful you avoided that."

"Quiet," Nooj said, as Shelinda walked up.

Baralai didn't dislike Shelinda—there were worse members of the press, and she wasn't even on the long list for that honor—but she was persistent, incisive, and a pain in his ass who kept embarrassing him. In the last year she had managed to uncover that two New Yevon officials were embezzling, one sex scandal between a former Yevon priest and a New Yevon acolyte that had resulted in the acolyte getting a position they weren't qualified for, and had done a huge expose on the foundation of New Yevon that had left Baralai placating members of the council for weeks.

Baralai was trying to build a democracy and couldn't seem to climb out from under the scandals to do it.

"Hello, Baralai," Shelinda said, stopping on the level below them.

"Hello," he said, and waited a moment. "What new and terrible story is coming out this time?"

Shelinda blinked and then fidgeted with her sleeves, and Baralai only barely resisted gaping at her. Shelinda didn't fidget. Shelinda was the most confident reporter he had ever met. He had watched her interview Nooj six months ago and smile through the whole rotten thing, unfazed and cheerful.

"There's—there's no story," she said. "How are you?"

"I'm… fine. And yourself?"

"Oh, you know. First game of the season," Shelinda gestured to the shimmering water. "It's a fun time to visit Luca."

"Not covering the games?"

Shelinda shook her head. "There are plenty of new recruits for that."

"Well, that's… good. I'm glad your network is doing well." He paused, and sat, unnerved, as she kept fidgeting. Finally, she squared her shoulders and Baralai braced himself.

"I was actually wondering if you'd like to—" She stared at him a moment and then said, "would you like to go to dinner sometime?"

There was a gust of air behind him; Nooj barely restrained a laugh, and beside him, Gippal tensed. Baralai flushed, and suddenly, he wished there was another sex scandal. A rampaging chocobo. A screaming child armed with ice cream. Anything but the most visible and successful reporter in Spira asking him out. He tried to think back to their interactions the last few weeks, but nothing stuck out to him.

"I know it's probably a surprise?" Shelinda said. "But we've been spending time together and I—well, you're nice."

"Wait, you're counting investigating New Yevon spending time together?" Baralai managed.

"I wasn't—there's no investigation!" Shelinda said. "Even if there were, I couldn't cover it at this point, anyway, I'm too… well, there would be bias." She shrugged.

"Shit," Gippal said next to him, under his breath, so quiet Baralai barely heard him. "Shit shit shit."

Baralai agreed with him, because the only person he wanted to date was sitting next to him and was probably out of his league. But he didn't know what Gippal was upset about, except then he noticed that every single stranger around them was watching their interaction. And some of them had recorders.

"We could go to that new place outside headquarters," Shelinda said, hopefully. "If you like seafood?"

"I—I don't know—I mean, maybe we could—" He paused and swallowed.

"Sorry," Gippal said, cutting him off. "This is really awkward."

Shelinda blushed. "Oh, I—of course, I didn't mean—"

"No, not the public part," Gippal said. "It's just, he can't go out with you because he's dating me."

Shelinda gaped. This time, Nooj didn't hold back and started laughing out loud. Baralai felt sick to his stomach, because he and Gippal weren't dating, they hadn't—ever—and Gippal wouldn't—probably _ever_ —and what if Gippal was putting Shelinda off because he _knew_ about Baralai's stupid, dead-end crush?

Baralai had felt awkward before, but the idea that Gippal knew about his feelings, maybe had known since Baralai realized but hadn't said anything because he didn't…

Baralai swallowed and shifted in his seat.

Shelinda narrowed her eyes, and Baralai knew that look too well. He cursed himself for being distracted. He knew that look because Shelinda got it every time he or Isaaru skirted around questions they didn't want to answer yet, like she knew they were doing it somehow.

"You're dating," she said, flatly.

"Yeah," Gippal said, reaching out to take Baralai's hand, and it made Baralai's chest hurt in multiple, conflicting ways. Gippal's palm was warm, callused, and a little greasy. Baralai felt light-headed. "We were trying to keep it a secret for now, but I can't let him lead you on." He smiled, kindly. "Sorry, but he's taken."

Baralai stared at Shelinda in horror, and then turned to stare at Gippal in horror. Gippal just winked, and when Baralai looked back to Shelinda, she was looking at them like... Baralai shuddered. He knew that look. This lie was doomed. He was doomed.

"Of course," Shelinda said, sounded perfectly happy. "It's disappointing, but—of course."

"I'm... really touched," Baralai managed. "Really really."

Shelinda nodded. "It's fine," she said, smiling. Like a behemoth shark, Baralai thought, but no one else would know because they hadn't been on the receiving end of that smile right before yet another news story trying to gut his organization. "Well, enjoy the game!" She waved and headed back the way she came, and Baralai watched her go in mute horror before looking back at Gippal.

"I can't believe you," Gippal said, letting go of his hand. Baralai stared at his palm for a few seconds, because... no. Of course not. Of course Gippal didn't know. "The best you could do is 'really really'? How have you managed to get this far in tense political discussions?"

"You—why did you do that?" Baralai said. "I could've turned her down."

"Uh, no," Paine said, leaning forward. "You were about to do that thing you do where you go along with things to avoid hurting someone's feelings. Remember the string of terrible dates a few months ago? I do. Because you complained about them constantly."

"You didn't have to pinch me so hard, I was getting to it," Gippal complained to Paine. "The look on his face, though."

"She thinks we're dating," Baralai said, horrified. 

"She knows we're dating," Gippal said. "You're safe!"

"I'm doomed."

"Please," Gippal said. "Don't be such a baby."

"She knows you were lying," Baralai muttered quietly. "She's not stupid. She's the best reporter in Spira. She's spent the last six weeks in Bevelle and you haven't been there more than two times."

Gippal rolled his eyes. "What part of secret did you miss?"

"We're going to get caught in a lie," Baralai said, panicked. "I can't afford any more lies right now, you know what I'm trying to do—"

"Yes, please have a public fight here amidst these perfect strangers while Shelinda watches from five rows away," Nooj said.

"It's a lovers spat," Gippal snapped.

"Okay, Grandpa," Nooj replied.

"Geez, if you're worried about getting caught, well, stop worrying," Gippal said, and wrapped his hand around Baralai's neck. His skin was cool against Baralai's, soft but still scratchy from his work with machina. 

"What—" Baralai said, but didn't get much further before Gippal tugged him into a kiss. 

Baralai had imagined kissing Gippal—he had imagined kissing Gippal _a lot_ and more besides—but this was so different that he couldn't help but lean in, letting his eyes falling closed. He had imagined Gippal would be a little pushy. He had maybe spent a lot of time picturing how Gippal might take what he wanted and how Baralai would be really on board with that. But instead Gippal was gentle, careful, and only a little past chaste for a public display of affection.

He smelled amazing and Baralai gave into the soft coax of Gippal's mouth, the feeling of his thumb brushing through Baralai's hair. He reached out to grab Gippal's free arm and held on. It was perfect, wonderful, and completely fucking fake, but Baralai couldn't bear to push Gippal away.

Gippal moved back first, a little flushed as Baralai opened his eyes to look, but still smirking, until the sound of applause wiped it off his face. Baralai thought that nothing could get worse, until he looked at one of the huge screens positioned around the stadium to see himself and Gippal centered in the picture, both of them kissed-mussed and available for the entire stadium—and soon, the world—to see.

\----------

He couldn't leave the game immediately—it would be too obvious—so Baralai suffered for the entire first half, trying to think of how he could mitigate the damage and coming up with nothing. Next to him, Gippal was tense and silent. Paine and Nooj whispered behind them until halftime, and abruptly quieted when Baralai stood as the people who had come to surround them in the stands got up to mill about.

"I need to call Isaaru," he said, and left them sitting in their seats. Or he tried. Paine caught up to him as he headed out of the stadium and started toward the New Yevon offices.

"It's going to be fine," she said after they were halfway there. "The council—"

"Is going to be furious that I was caught kissing—" He took a deep breath. "You know they're unhappy. We've talked about this."

"Well, that's what you get for putting power over human decency," Paine said, nonchalant. "So a majority of your council is racist, you were caught making out with the one of the leaders for the equality of the Al Bhed in Spira on camera, and now all your careful political planning of the last few months may be in ruins." She eyed him. "Did I leave anything out?"

"No," Baralai said, but as they walked, he didn't have the heart to tell her that so many of the rights for the Al Bhed in Bevelle had been sacrificed to get the votes for the government restructure through. He was useful as Praetor because he was young, and New Yevon benefitted. But the council wasn't young, still held many of the prejudices that had plagued them before Sin had been defeated, and were dubious about granting power to citizens. Limiting Al Bhed interactions and influence in the democracy he was trying to bring to Bevelle had been an infuriating, but necessary, choice, given his situation. Baralai hated it and hated more that he had kept it a secret from everyone but Isaaru.

Knowing his luck, the next story Shelinda sprung on him would be his own blackmail scandal.

"You know," Paine said as they approached the New Yevon offices. "There's one solution to this."

Baralai walked in and passed the empty reception desk and headed through to the inner workspace. "I'm out of brilliant ideas, Paine. If you have one, now would be a time to share it."

"Date Gippal," Paine said, and Baralai stopped in the hallway and stared at her.

She rolled her eyes at his silence and finally pushed him down the hall. "Come on. They're going to have a racist freak out in private, but you can spin it to them. Gippal's popular. People like him, even if they don't like Al Bhed generally. He's close with Rikku, and Rikku's related to Yuna, who will be nothing but happy for you if asked. It makes New Yevon look socially forward, you pretend to date for a few months, have an amicable break up, move on. No hard feelings, all the benefits of New Yevon not looking like jerks, and on the plus side you'll have a long time to wait before Shelinda asks you out again."

"Never," Baralai said. "She's too intense for me."

"You'll be safe at least three months after it's over," Paine said, plopping down on the soda in his tiny office. "She doesn't seem the type to go for the rebound."

"I'm _never_ dating Shelinda."

"But you can pretend to date Gippal for a little while. It's the easiest way out of an awkward situation."

Baralai's office didn't have windows. He wished it did because he wanted to stare at anything but Paine's expectant face. She didn't know about his feelings; no one knew about his feelings because he had kept them to himself, which was no easy feat with his friends. Gippal had a type, Baralai was emphatically not it, and he didn't need to make things awkward.

Paine's suggestion would inevitably make things awkward.

His sphere console on the desk hummed as he turned it on, and he really, really didn't want to call Isaaru, even though there was no doubt he was watching. The network was advanced enough now that live viewing was no longer a problem. He'd probably seen the whole thing in real time. He was going to throttle Baralai in his sleep and take over New Yevon.

"At least you didn't get kissed by Nooj," Paine pointed out. "No one on the council likes him and they would boot you out before you could open your mouth to justify it."

Baralai snorted. "He called them rancid shoopuf dung last week."

"Eh, four out of ten." Paine waved a hand. "Not his best work."

"Even if this would work—"

"It would work."

"Even if it would—" Baralai said again, "there is no way Gippal is going to go for it. There's no way. Not even he would think this is in any way good to effectively lie to the whole world. We tried that once and it went _really badly_. You were there for that."

Paine rolled her eyes.

His console chimed and Baralai winced. 

Paine grinned at him and he wished he had more sympathetic friends. His current friends were jerks. "After Isaaru finishes looking at you with his disappointed eyes, run it by him. See what he says."

"Isaaru can approve all he wants," Baralai said. "There is no way Gippal is going to want to pretend to date me for politics." He didn't mention that there was no way his heart could handle it. He could not take pretending to date Gippal, when he wanted to date Gippal for real. He wanted to date Gippal for real _a lot_.

"Uh huh," Paine said. "Answer that call."

"There's no way," Baralai repeated, firmly, and answered the call.

\----------

"Sure," Gippal said an hour later when Baralai finished explaining the agreement he and Isaaru had hashed out with Paine to Gippal and Nooj. "You're okay to look at most of the time." He smirked at Baralai's expression.

Baralai laid his face down in his arms, folded on his desk. "Sure," he muttered, ignoring Paine's knowing silence and the laughing Nooj was only barely suppressing. "Answer immediately. Not even a moment to think about it."

"Uh, the whole point is that you need me to do it, right? I'll do whatever you want," Gippal said, and Baralai's mind, which he usually didn't let go in unfortunate directions, gave him an immediate visual list of things he wanted Gippal to do to him. He groaned again. 

Gippal misunderstood and said, "You don't seem thrilled about it. I'm going to get offended. I'll have you know that I'm a catch."

"Save me," Baralai moaned into his sleeves. Because Gippal _was_ a catch, and no one knew better than Baralai how much of a catch he was. Baralai wanted him to be an actual catch and not one he was going to have to throw back. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, hard, and took a deep breath.

"I'm the third-most eligible bachelor on that list the LeBlanc Syndicate puts out every year," Gippal was saying when Baralai tuned back in. "You're lucky to be dating me."

"Is this the portion of the afternoon where we have to listen to you expound on how attractive you are again?" Nooj asked. "Maybe I should go for a long walk. Very long."

"I'm _very_ attractive," Gippal said. "I've gotten no complaints."

Baralai finally looked up at him. "Be serious for five minutes. This isn't a joke. We have to be able to sell this to everyone in Bevelle."

"I can handle the press."

"Everyone." Baralai leaned back. "The council, all the New Yevon officials, my assistants—"

"That's easy."

"Rikku, too," Paine added from her spot on the sofa.

Gippal jerked his head around. "What?"

Paine shrugged. "Too many people already know—all of us, plus Isaaru. He's a vault, but the more people we add the easier it will be for the truth to get out. So we all have to play the part."

"You're going to lie to Rikku and Yuna," Gippal said. "You. Lying to... to everyone."

"What, no concern for _me_ lying?" Nooj raised an eyebrow.

"The only person you'd care about lying to is right next to you," Gippal pointed out. "It's not the same as lying to co-workers."

"This may surprise you, but who you all date doesn't come up that much in our conversations. Rikku will probably be grateful Brother will have to stop dropping hints for her to marry you to get access to your outrageous fortune." Paine sighed. "It's not my favorite thing in the world, but the fewer people who know the truth the better."

"I don't have an outrageous fortune," Gippal said, annoyed. "It's a normal sized savings. It's responsible! Guy has an airship, now he wants cash, too? What's next, a hot tub full of gil?"

" _Don't_ give him or Buddy ideas," Paine said. "This isn't complicated. Spend more time together. Hang out at restaurants. Hold hands. Kiss over romantic meals."

"It's not... a small favor," Baralai said, ignoring the part about holding hands, because it sounded great but also an agonizing form of torture. "Gippal, my councillors are terrible. You know how asinine they are."

"Yeah, I'm aware of how much the council hates the Al Bhed. But I'm not Rin and I'm definitely not Nhadala, and I promise not to punch anyone like she did." He huffed. "Probably."

"And… we don't have to—physically we can—" Baralai paused and stared at Paine and Nooj, helplessly.

"It's pretending to date, not fluid bonding," Nooj said.

"Don't be gross. You're going to give Baralai an aneurysm," Paine said, elbowing Nooj, while Gippal cackled and Baralai struggled for words.

"Except I do get to kiss Baralai in public, right?" Gippal grinned at them. "Appropriately, of course. Wouldn't want to damage your reputation too much now that you're sexually consorting with a dirty Al Bhed."

"You're enjoying this," Baralai said, and ignored the part of his brain that had taken Gippal saying the word _sex_ and was now trying to embarrass him with inappropriate erections. "You ass."

Gippal shrugged. "A little, but seriously, I thought when you stomped off you were going to do that thing where you stopped speaking to me for weeks."

"That was _once_ ," Baralai said. "And I had just been possessed by an evil spirit!"

"You're forgetting the time with the chocobo," Gippal said.

"You slapped the chocobo I was posing on on the ass and sent me careening across the Calm Lands." Baralai said. "There were photos! Of course I ignored you, I was busy being the laughingstock of the entire world for two weeks."

"Come on, it was kind of funny."

"It wasn't funny at all!"

"It was extremely funny," Nooj said. Paine nodded, solemnly.

" _No one asked you_." Baralai said. He took a breath. "Listen, Isaaru likes this idea the best of all the ideas we discussed for how to play off the fact that I made out with Gippal in the most visible place in the world."

"Excuse me, I kissed you first." Gippal gave him an annoyed look. "Don't claim the first move!"

Baralai dragged his hands down his face, exhausted. "It doesn't matter who kissed who first. We're getting off topic." He pointed at Gippal. "You said yes, great. You stay so we can hash out details and get ready to go; Isaaru wants us back in Bevelle by this evening." He looked at Paine and Nooj. "Thanks for the idea, I suppose, and the moral support. Unless you want to come with us, you can go back to the relaxing weekend we would have had before Gippal _rescued_ me from _Shelinda_."

Gippal went mulishly quiet as Nooj and Paine said goodbye and made their way out. Paine gave him a pointed look when she wrapped him in a hug, and murmured, "He was trying to help. Watch out for his feelings, okay?" before she pulled away. Baralai nodded.

When they were gone, Gippal claimed the small couch, draping himself along the length of it, unhappy and silent. Baralai couldn't bring himself to apologize; he felt like he was having a fairly mild reaction, all things considered.

This was going to be a disaster. Gippal was stupidly beautiful and Baralai wanted to put his hands all over him. He was going to have so many fantasies of blowing Gippal on that couch now. 

He was going to have to replace it and buy a new couch.

This was going to be torture. But if leading New Yevon had taught him anything it was self-control.

"I'm sorry," Baralai said roughly, after a long silence. "I know you were trying to help me avoid something I didn't want to do. You didn't know we'd get caught on the stadium cameras."

"I forget that we're important sometimes." Gippal covered his face with an arm. "Or, people think we're important because they don't know that Nooj sings pop music in the shower completely off key to drive people around him nuts, or that Paine leaves dirty dishes in the sink, or that you have terrible taste in books, or that I—" He stopped and sighed. "Well, I'm sure I have flaws somewhere."

Baralai resisted laughing. "Maybe you're perfect. Maybe I won't be able to find any flaws and you'll get to hold it over me forever."

Gippal peeked out and smiled at him, and Baralai was helpless against that smile. He was doomed, in so many ways, politically and personally. But that smile was the fast track straight toward it. Gippal said, "Well, at least we'll do it together?"

Baralai smiled back.

\----------

Baralai had planned for the whole weekend off, plus an extra day to decompress and catch up on work after the packed opening weekend of the blitz season. It was odd to return to Bevelle on a completely abandoned commercial transport instead of the _Celsius_.

He and Gippal had decided to wait until they got back to Bevelle so Baralai could tell how bad the damage was before they hashed out more details beyond their cover story. Baralai had made Gippal promise he wouldn't spring more public kissing on him, and Gippal, smirking, agreed.

The damage was done as far as kissing in public went, so more wouldn't make things that much worse. But Baralai knew he'd give everything away if it continued. He was good at hiding lots of things, but his emotions about Gippal were not one of them when faced with everything he'd ever wanted.

The trip to Bevelle was quiet. 

Gippal spent the flight tucked in the back corner of the transport, still warm from its trip to fetch them. He spoke in fast but quiet Al Bhed into a tiny, glowing red sphere to someone whose responses were tinny and indecipherable.

Baralai spent the time mentally rehearsing what he was going to be able to get away with saying to the two council members he knew were going to be hovering outside his office door when he arrived home. Nidus and Varaja were the councillors who were most determinedly racist, the ones who had been vocally critical of his mere friendship with Gippal and Nooj the last few months, and the two with the most power in two of the three factions on the council.

"I can handle this," he said to himself. He took some deep breaths as Gippal's voice drifted over to him. He wasn't in this alone, not really. But he was going to need to tell Gippal the truth about the political situation or else he _would_ be. He just didn't know how he was going to manage it without Gippal blowing up at him and then telling Nooj before he could explain. Or worse, _Paine_.

The trip stretched to three hours without the benefit of the Celsius's engines—Rin did good work with the air transports, but they couldn't beat the actual airships—and Baralai managed to calm himself down. Gippal joined him, sprawling into the seat across from him and dozing off. Baralai envied his ability to not worry until things could be dealt with. It was a skill Baralai had never developed. Baralai reviewed some paperwork he had packed with him until the transport came to rest, hydraulics hissing and the control panel beeping as the ramp was lowered.

Gippal sat up and stretched. Baralai couldn't be blamed for watching when Gippal was doing it right in front of him. "Time to face the music."

"It's fine, we'll be able to get to my office and speak with Isaaru before we're accosted." Baralai tore his eyes away from the stretch of Gippal's pants over his thighs and gathered his bags from the overhead compartments, and said, "Just don't say anything besides hello to anyone and you'll be fine."

"Uh, are you sure we'll have until we get to your office?" Gippal asked. "Because there are two really unhappy looking people standing at the bottom of the ramp."

Baralai jerked around and stepped around the bank of seats. He glanced down at the landing area to see the last two people he wanted to see this early. Varaja looked calm, because she always did, but Nidus looked furious. "Oh."

"I'm guessing you didn't expect them." Gippal hauled his pack over his shoulder. "Council?"

"Yes." Baralai took a breath, and then another. 

Of course they would be waiting for him. All his refutations about secret political alliances with the Al-Bhed, all his stonewalling over stripping them of their rights, every single trick he had pulled before giving into Varaja's conditions meant this revelation looked like he had been lying to them deliberately. But there was nothing to do but, as Gippal had said, face the music.

Gippal bumped his shoulder. "Hey."

Baralai stared at him, the goofy chocobo eyepatch Rikku had bought Gippal as a joke yesterday and his eye, green and friendly and familiar. "Hey."

"We've taken worse baddies than the New Yevon council while low on ammo, two of us in slings, Paine with a cracked sword, and Nooj with a head cold, while it was raining buckets." Gippal reached out and took Baralai's free hand, squeezed tight. "It's us. We've got this."

Baralai didn't trust himself to speak; he nodded firmly. Gippal's smile didn't waver, and he didn't let go of Baralai's hand. Until he let go, Baralai wasn't letting go, either, and as long as they stuck together, they could handle Nidus and Varaja. They could handle the whole council if they needed to.

When Baralai stepped down off the ramp, he expected... something. But Varaja and Nidus only looked at him, their furious eyes saying more than words ever could.

"Congratulations seem to be in order," Varaja said, and Baralai could hear the derision in her voice.

"Thanks," Gippal said. "He's a lucky man."

"The council would like to convene tomorrow morning," Nidus cut in, and didn't even look at Gippal.

"Surely this could wait until we've unpacked," Baralai said, annoyed. "Gippal, this is Councillor Nidus, and his colleague, Councillor Varaja. Councillors, you know Gippal."

It shouldn't have been such a pleasure to watch them greet Gippal formally, but it was, especially when Gippal squeezed Baralai's hand again and said, "No, no, I'm the trophy boyfriend, no reason to stand on ceremony. I'll be totally invisible while I'm here so feel free to ignore me at will." He grinned, and swung their clasped hands together a bit.

Varaja didn't react; Nidus, on the other hand, flushed pink. Baralai cleared his throat to draw their attention.

"Gippal will be staying until things calm down," he said. "But I'll be available at my normal times."

"Perhaps we can provide you as escort," Varaja offered Gippal.

"I know my way around. Bevelle doesn't have many secrets from me anymore," Gippal said, and Nidus opened his mouth to speak and almost immediately closed it. "But thanks anyway."

Varaja nodded. "As you wish. Praetor, we'll see you tomorrow morning." She stepped away, and Nidus followed her, only a few degrees away from an outright stomp.

Baralai waited until they had stepped into the temple before sighing. "Trophy boyfriend? Did you have to?"

"You have never beaten me in any of the most eligible bachelor polls. The people of Spira have spoken."

"You read such trash," Baralai said.

"You're just jealous I'm hotter than you," Gippal said, as Baralai headed toward the entrance to the temple on the other side of the landing area, toward his office. 

"Those polls were not scientific."

"Says the man jealous over being less attractive than his trophy boyfriend. It's not about _science_."

Baralai groaned.

They managed to make it to Baralai's office without seeing anyone but curious acolytes and staff, none of whom would think to interrupt the Praetor unless Baralai spoke to them first, regardless of his attempts to make himself more approachable. Unsurprisingly, Isaaru was waiting for them when they arrived, standing in front of Baralai's office door patiently. He led them in silently.

When the door closed, Gippal dropped Baralai's hand, and even though it was sweaty and they didn't need the pretense any longer, Baralai missed it already.

"Has Gippal been briefed?" Isaaru asked, stopping in front of Baralai's desk.

"Hello to you, as well, and no." Baralai shrugged off his coat and hung it before retreating behind his desk. It didn't make him feel as confident as it used to.

Gippal tossed himself down in the lounge area of Baralai's office. "Briefed on what?"

"Some political information you'll need," Baralai said. Isaaru raised his brows. Baralai frowned back. Isaaru rolled his eyes and Baralai said, "They were waiting for me when I got back. How did they know I was coming?"

"Because I informed them," Isaaru said, and then, "You had a three hour flight. That was enough time to get him up to speed."

"Sorry, probably my fault," Gippal waved an arm at Isaaru's back. "I had to call into Nhadala and Tippa about not making the dig site next week and handle some other things."

Baralai didn't know who Gippal had spoken to on the sphere network, because Gippal had friends even Baralai didn't know. Unlike Baralai, whose friends were Gippal's friends except, maybe, for Isaaru, if he was allowed to count since they had only met due to working together. Baralai knew Gippal wouldn't count Isaaru.

"Three hours," Isaaru said slowly, glancing over his shoulder.

"Yeah, and then I wanted a nap."

Isaaru looked back at Baralai, barely masking his displeasure.

"He was... tired." Baralai knew it was weak, but he didn't care. Frankly, he was not looking forward to telling Gippal the truth, and definitely didn't want to do it in public, even if it was an empty transport.

"I've alerted Yamara that you're back, but she won't be able to make the return trip from Kilika any earlier," Isaaru said, handling Baralai a folder. "Beni will be covering her tasks."

Baralai opened the folder to see his itinerary set out for the week. It was the same as when he had left, except there were two extra council meetings added, both tomorrow, and what looked to be a formal dinner in two weeks.

"Why are we having a banquet?"

"To introduce your partner to Bevelle, of course," Isaaru said. "It's also a fundraiser, possibly for orphans or baby chocobos harmed by industry. I told Beni to find something respectable, as it's in Gippal's honor."

"I like baby chocobos," Gippal said.

"I could not care less," Isaaru said. Baralai's head snapped up as Isaaru turned on Gippal. "You have created a disaster that needs to be managed. The political situation you've entered due to what seemed like a fun joke to you could have beneficial _or_ disastrous results, and right now the scales are distinctly tilted toward a disaster that results in Baralai being voted out of his position. I realize he hasn't told you the true ramifications yet, but you could stand to joke a little less."

Gippal stared at him, mute.

"Isaaru—" Baralai couldn't look at Gippal because he'd lose it. Gippal was easygoing; he took time to get angry and even longer for you to realize he was angry at you and to say something, but Baralai knew that silence.

"He's not taking this seriously."

"He doesn't know how to take anything yet!" Baralai said.

"Because you should have told him the truth weeks ago!" Isaaru said.

"Whoa whoa whoa," Gippal said. "Listen, yell at me all you want since it was my stupid mouth that got us into this, but don't yell at him."

Isaaru took a breath. "Interesting. I wonder if you'll feel the same way tomorrow." He looked at Baralai, hard. "It's time. Don't let him walk in blind when we need him on our side. We can turn this to our favor if we handle it right."

Baralai shut the folder and dropped it on his desk, mostly unread. He didn't want to use Gippal as a political tool. He didn't want to use Gippal at all. He didn't say goodbye to Isaaru as he left.

"I really hope you have an explanation for all of that," Gippal said. "I've never seen Isaaru lose his cool that way."

"It's complicated and he's stressed," Baralai said. "I—we do need to talk. But I'm tired, I have two early meetings tomorrow that will probably last all day, and then we can…" He opened his itinerary. "I'll be available for dinner. We can eat in my rooms and I'll... I'll tell you everything."

Gippal studied him. "I'm really not going to like this dinner, am I?"

Baralai smiled and wished it was happier. "I'll have the kitchens make your favorites."

"Shit," Gippal said, and ran a hand through his hair. "Okay. All right." He took a deep breath. "Do you need to work?"

Baralai looked at his schedule. "There's meeting agendas I need to go over."

"So I can... head to your rooms," Gippal said. "Unpack and stuff."

"Beni will be outside the door now, I'm sure" Baralai said. "Just ask them if you need anything."

"You may get fancy pants treatment, but I'll eat in the kitchen like I always have," Gippal said, flippant, but he was tense. Baralai regretted everything that had led to this moment. Things hadn't been tense between them in so long and it had been hard won.

"I'll come to sleep before it gets too late," Baralai said.

Gippal stared at him a long moment before he left Baralai alone with his work, without saying goodbye

\----------

Baralai let himself into his quarters a few hours later, after a long planning session on how to handle the council and a quick dinner at his desk. The room wasn't dark yet, and Gippal was on the couch in his sitting room, curled up with a book, chest bare and a pair of loose cotton pants riding low on his hips.

He smiled when he saw Baralai, as if the earlier tension hadn't existed, and that just made the whole picture more appealing. Baralai could pretend this was his life, that he could come home to this every day, that he could walk over and press Gippal down into the lumpy couch and hold on to him, tight. But pretending was a dangerous business.

"Prepared for tomorrow?" Gippal asked.

"As well as I can be," Baralai said. "The first meeting agenda is a longer version of them asking me how dare I secretly date you and let them find out this way, but the second is probably going to be political theater designed to move votes up that I needed to figure out a way to block."

"Sounds rough." Gippal snapped his book closed. "Wanna sleep?"

Baralai stood awkwardly. "I'll have to find a staff member and pull out some extra blankets."

"Why?"

"I'm going to take the couch," Baralai said. He'd already resigned himself, but Gippal glared at him.

"Wow, you're so not." Gippal stood, and the muscles in his arms rippled, and Baralai was very glad he was still wearing his heavy pants. "One, your bed is gigantic. Two, if any of your staff notices extra blankets not on the bed, this charade is done."

"But—"

"No." Gippal walked over and put the book back on one of the shelves. His feet were bare, peeking out from the edges of his pants. Baralai shouldn't have found it cute and was annoyed with himself for finding it cute against his own will. "Listen, I promise not to grope you, but this is not a negotiable thing. So strip and climb into bed in the next ten minutes, or else I'm gonna put you there myself."

Baralai smiled against his better judgment. "Oh yeah? You think you could?"

Gippal ruined Baralai's poise by sliding closer, close enough for Baralai to touch all his sun-drenched, freckled, golden skin. "I know I could," he murmured in Baralai's ear, his breath warm. "I know all the places you're ticklish."

Gippal moved away before Baralai could react, not that he would have reacted given that he was agonizingly hard, from breath on his neck, and that reacting would mean making noises that wouldn't be easily explained away.

"See," Gippal said, taking his silence as agreement, "even you know that you don't have anything to trump that. See you in ten."

_One night_ , Baralai thought as he got ready for bed, watching Gippal climb into his bed and bounce around before moving.

One night wouldn't hurt anything and they'd slept close plenty of times. It had been before Baralai realized he wanted to sleep close in an entirely different context, but he could treat it the same. 

As he brushed his teeth in his private bath, he justified his complete selfishness for wanting one night with the fact that tomorrow, Gippal might leave, and be justified in doing so. Baralai shouldn't have prioritized the meetings over telling him even if he hated being unprepared, but it was done, and now Baralai was too tired to get into it with only seven hours between him and an angry council.

The lights in the sitting room were dark when he emerged, the only glow from the lamp on Gippal's side of the bed. Which was actually Baralai's side. He stopped at the foot of the bed, debated arguing, shrugged, and went to the other side.

"I can't believe you sleep on this all the time," Gippal said. He was drowsy and his voice low. "Is this made of clouds?"

"Chocobo feathers and some kind of foam made from mushrooms that grow in Macalania."

"Thought that'd be more spiky. Guess they work that out for fancy politicians." Gippal didn't move as Baralai got settled, and then rolled toward him. His eyepatch was gone, Gippal's scars on display, and that more than anything made Baralai's breath catch. As far as he knew, Gippal didn't take the patch off for anyone.

The feeling of wrongness chewed at him, and he reached out and touched Gippal's bare shoulder. "I'm sorry."

Gippal didn't meet his gaze. "Mmm, it's fine. Remember, it was my mouth that landed us here."

"I meant about tomorrow," Baralai relaxed when Gippal didn't push him away. "It's... you're going to be unhappy with me. And I'm going to deserve it. But I'm still trying to fix it, okay?"

Gippal did look at him then, frowning. "Is this what's been eating you the last few weeks?"

_Of course_ , Baralai thought. Of course he knew. "Yeah, probably."

"Know you can tell me anything, right?" Gippal asked, covering Baralai's hand with his own. "You don't have to carry everything alone."

"Some things I do," Baralai murmured. "But I wish I hadn't with this."

"We'll figure it out," Gippal said. "I bet I won't be mad long. Nooj is the one who holds grudges, not me." He moved away suddenly, dislodging Baralai's hand, and the light vanished. Baralai moved his arm, but Gippal came back, just a little bit closer, unless it was wishful thinking. Baralai couldn't tell. "Now go to sleep."

_One night_ , Baralai thought as his knee brushed Gippal's thigh as they settled. 

One night.

\----------

Baralai sat staring out his window when the door to his office opened quietly. He didn't turn from the view of the city. Wispy clouds slinked through the sky, raced by tiny silhouettes of inner city air transports. Baralai loved them and so did a lot of other people—now. But they were still one of his more controversial and expensive initiatives.

"That could have gone better," he said into the silence.

Behind him, Isaaru's robes rustled as he took a chair in front of Baralai's desk. "It also could have gone much worse. You're still Praetor."

"I wonder why they hate the Al Bhed so," Baralai said, watching some birds wheeling through the air right outside his window. "Before, with Yevon, you could see their perspective even if you disagreed. But now that we know it was all for nothing, purely manufactured…"

"Bigotry is not something you can puzzle through with logic."

"I would have made them less angry with anything else. I could have murdered someone and they'd be less upset." Baralai finally swiveled around. Isaaru looked tired; Baralai imagined he looked no better. "The only bright side is that you managed to put off call for the early vote by forcing them to burn all their time insinuating I was a liar."

"You are," Isaaru said, but not unkindly.

Baralai rubbed his face. "Isaaru. Come on."

"It looks like nothing else if he doesn't know how you feel," Isaaru said. 

"Let's go back to discussing the terrible political situation that may result in me destitute and homeless instead," Baralai said. "What's the temperature?"

"We've convinced them the relationship is real enough for now with our story about how you wanted to keep it private. You and Gippal could do a little work on that in the next few days. Go on a romantic date. Do _not_ get caught making out in an alley."

Baralai smiled. "You have so much confidence in his self-control."

"He did manage to kiss you in the view of the entire world without hesitation or considering potential consequences," Isaaru pointed out. "An alley is a step up."

"I'll take care of that. What else?"

"The proposal is close to a vote, but Weidal and Talma are the two votes we need to gain the majority, as they'll bring several people with them. They're voting in lockstep with their parties now, but this may be an opportunity to resubmit our proposal and have more people listen," Isaaru said. "Before, it was largely academic. But now, the current proposal would disenfranchise your partner if he moved to Bevelle, and that makes it personal for you, because their policies would affect you, as well. They'll expect you to push back even harder."

"You told me last week resubmitting was a bad idea," Baralai said.

"That was before Gippal attached himself to your face on live broadcast." Isaaru sighed. "This is why I liked Paine's plan. She didn't know why it was a good idea, but it is. Gippal's presence allows you to disrupt their plans by making your case again. Their proposal creates barriers that would impact your future: marriage, children, shared property. That's personal."

"It was personal before," Baralai said. "If only Varaja didn't have that video."

"We still don't know the full contents," Isaaru said.

"It's a video of me fighting with the High Summoner." Baralai laughed, but it was a little ridiculous. "I was there; she described enough. She's insinuated she has others, one related directly to Vegnagun in particular." He rocked back in his chair. "Accept their restrictions and they don't release the videos. Don't accept their restrictions and they leak the videos, but then my proposal doesn't pass because public sentiment against me has turned and no one will trust me or my work. End up losing the position and watching them approve some who will gut Al Bhed rights even more than their current proposal does." He sighed deeply. 

Isaaru said nothing.

Baralai continued, "The writing's on the wall for New Yevon. Most young people aren't interested in organizations like ours. They're more independent. Why not buy into old prejudices from the older majority to retain power longer?" Baralai thought about how hopeful he had been when he accepted his place in New Yevon. It seemed like a long time ago. He said, "I'm tired."

"Redraft your proposal by mid-week," Isaaru said after a long silence. "We'll rework it and send a new copy in for the formal vote. Until then, work with Gippal. Remember that you're both likeable and we can use that."

"Want us to kiss some Al Bhed babies?" Baralai asked.

"Not a bad idea," Isaaru said. "Suggest it."

Baralai scoffed. "How cutthroat."

"Remember the endgame." Isaaru stood. "Have a nice dinner tonight. And good luck."

Baralai swiveled away, back to the window. "Thanks. I'll definitely need it."

\----------

Although Baralai had been back to his quarters a few times during the day, Gippal had never been in evidence. It also reminded Baralai that he had woken by himself, Gippal's side of the bed cool to the touch and Gippal himself already out.

He wasn't going to read into that.

So he was surprised to find Gippal dozing on the couch when he arrived home, snoring slightly. Baralai smiled and closed the door gently, and headed over to nudge Gippal awake.

"Hmm?" Gippal stretched, and Baralai enjoyed the view until Gippal looked at him. "Oh, hey."

"I asked dinner to be served here," Baralai moved away to clear his dining table near the window off. "They'll arrive shortly."

"We could have just eaten in the kitchen." Gippal sat up, and leaned over the back of the couch to watch Baralai clean up.

"Unfortunately, not this time." Baralai moved a stack of books from the table to another stack of books on the nearby desk he never used, making sure it was mostly sturdy before moving on. "I'm going to share some documents with you and we'll need to discuss them privately." Once the table was clear, he headed toward his washroom. "Let the staff in when they knock, please? I'm going to change."

"Sure," Gippal said, and his voice was odd, but Baralai didn't look back.

He didn't need to change, but he did anyway. He had no clue how Gippal was going to react, nor how bad temper would be. As Baralai tugged a simple cotton shirt over his head and brushed his hair out of his eyes, he tried to run through possible responses, from quiet fury to loud screaming.

Not that they would do him any good. He had never been good at predicting Gippal.

When he went back out to his sitting room, dinner was laid out on the small table, but the serving staff was gone. Gippal was sitting in the chair Baralai normally used, already eating, so Baralai took the other next to him.

"I'm pretty curious about whatever it is you're going to tell me," Gippal said as Baralai picked up his utensils. "I'm guessing you think it's going to make me really mad because this is my favorite stir-fry."

"You've seen through my ploy," Baralai said. "I know it's going to make you really mad, and thought you would enjoy something nice. I'm also not going to _tell_ you. You're going to read the documents and then ask me what you want to know, mostly so I don't stumble over explaining myself and screw this up even worse."

Gippal speared a bean with his fork. "Okay, what do you want me to read?"

Baralai pushed away from the table and retrieved the folders from his bag. He handed them to Gippal as he sat back down. "Those are old and will be out of date when I redraft, so don't worry about handling them."

Gippal frowned at the folders but took them. They ate in silence as he read, holding them one-handed until he finished. Then he sat back in his chair to continue. Baralai had put his initial proposal first, and followed it with the counter-proposal from Varaja, his response to them, and then their compromise proposal, which wasn't much different than Varaja's original proposal with some niceties thrown in: a curfew, plans to retain current Al Bhed businesses in the city, albeit with huge fee increases, rules about congregation size less extreme than banning groups of Al Bhed larger than five, lack of voting rights on city-wide issues, and more besides. It made Baralai ill.

The steps between the proposals were invisible, including the threats to share sphere recordings that Baralai would have trouble explaining to anyone.

Baralai had finished his own dinner and was sitting with a glass of water, looking out his window over the city, when Gippal closed the folders. Baralai didn't look away from his view and Gippal didn't say anything, just tapped the edge of the folders on the table until the moment stretched out, and Baralai couldn't stand it.

"Well?" he asked.

Gippal shrugged. Baralai couldn't get a read on him at all. "So you're going to make it almost impossible for Al Bhed to live, work, and vote in the future utopian democracy you're building in Bevelle. What did they give you that made you sell us out?"

"Nothing," Baralai said. "They have video of me from... before. Fighting the Gullwings. Vegnagun. Possibly others."

Gippal's stared at him a long moment. "Wait, so you didn't agree to this?"

Baralai frowned. "You thought I would agree to those kinds of things?"

Gippal shrugged again. "You're a politician."

"It doesn't mean I would—you believe I would do _that_? Gippal, that's outright discrimination."

"Are you mad because I'm _not_ mad?" Gippal asked. "Because I can be mad if you want, but I get that sometimes in this job you're going to have to do shitty things you hate, maybe shitty things that last awhile until you can fix them. You're not a divine ruler, Baralai. You're just one guy."

"Stop using logic," Baralai grumbled.

"No. Anyway, go back. You mean they're blackmailing you into agreeing to the restrictions on Al Bhed in Bevelle?"

"Mostly accurate," Baralai said. "Isaaru and I were trying to confirm the existence of the recordings and also attempting to buy time so we could convince a few swing voters to back my proposal. We thought by looking as if we were giving in we could see how bad the damage would be if the recordings came out, if they existed at all. Unfortunately, we haven't made any headway."

"So now it just looks like you're okay with the discrimination," Gippal said. "And because you didn't really push publicly, because no way is the blackmail on record, if you pushed back again after you agreed they could just leak it to the press and get their way, anyway." He huffed. "No wonder Isaaru was pissed at me for making out with you in public. That's a wrench in the gears."

"There's a majority of the council who want to ensure that Al Bhed can't vote, can't serve in public office, and have limited mobility in the city." Baralai twirled an unused spoon through his fingers, watching the light glint off of the silver. "Councillors who thought I would be on their side in protecting Bevelle and New Yevon from Al Bhed influence now suspect the truth—that I wasn't, and that I'm pretending to date you in order to score political points. They're not wrong, but now I have the chance to make my case again." He chuckled. "In actuality, you being here could help. Putting a human face on things will sway more people."

Gippal groaned. "God, and I told Shelinda we had _been_ dating, so you couldn't exactly do a press release asking the world for privacy at the start of a brand new romance."

Baralai smiled. "You didn't know."

Gippal glared. "You're right. Why didn't you tell us you were being blackmailed? And don't say 'it's none of your concern' in your public service voice when we went through the Vegnagun stuff together."

"Hope that I could resolve it before any of you would have to deal with it again?" Baralai dropped his head back on the back of the chair. "I thought you would be more angry about the fact I even let their proposal get close to a vote. We had no idea the anti-Al Bhed sentiment was this bad."

"How close to a vote is it?"

"Less than a month," Baralai said. "That's when the council season opens for new business. Not that they won't try to call an emergency session to vote, but those are harder to get approval for when parts of the council are away for vacation. They don't have the votes, although they sure did try today." He snorted. "Luckily they spent the session insulting me and calling me a liar and ran out their floor time."

"Baralai," Gippal said. "Why didn't you ask for help?"

"You know that answer."

"Yeah, you're a stubborn _ass_ ," Gippal said. "Don't get me wrong, I'm pissed you didn't tell us this was going on and trying to handle it all alone—I'm not counting Isaaru, so cram it—and you're in so much shit for the next forever for that. At least Isaaru having a meltdown makes sense. Any way you cut it, if anything leaks you look like a jerk and they get their way." He rubbed his face. "And as a bonus I definitely look like political points, which doesn't help the Al Bhed look any better, so if they can prove this is all fake it it's worse for us, too."

"Always thought you would be good at politics."

Gippal grimaced. "Some of this could've been avoided if you had told us you were in a political vice."

"I know," Baralai said. "I get it."

Gippal kicked his leg. "No, you really _don't_. Seriously, you thought I was gonna read this and stomp out and never speak to you again or something? What kind of friend do you think I am?"

"It's possible," Baralai said, reviewing the last few weeks, "that I have been stressed and maybe made some assumptions based on faulty information."

"Damn right you made some assumptions," Gippal said. "Remember that you know me, okay? I'm never gonna turn my back on you, no matter what."

Baralai could only nod, relieved, swallowing past the lump in his throat.

"Okay, obviously I can't help with the politics, but I am a _great_ boyfriend."

Baralai snorted. Mentally, he was reviewing all the ways he knew Gippal was a great boyfriend because he had spent way too much time obsessing the last time Gippal was in a relationship the previous year. He was probably a bad friend for still being glad they had split up.

"Hey, no, I'm good at this," Gippal said, misunderstanding again. "Charm, romance, whatever. The council can leak whatever they want, but by the time I'm done it's going to look like a pathetic attempt to discredit you." Gippal nodded, determined.

"No making out in alleys," Baralai said. "Isaaru already said no."

"That's not classy," Gippal said. "You're a classy guy. I'm not that great at dating classy guys, but I can figure it out."

"Thanks?" Baralai stared at Gippal, who had the manic look he got when he was on the edge of a brilliant plan and tried to ignore the burn of rejection. It wasn't even a personal rejection, but it hurt nonetheless to know that Gippal couldn't even see them on the same level. He was too much of something Gippal didn't like and it was difficult to hear it out loud.

"Leave it to me," Gippal said into Baralai's long silence. "I'll have the entire world convinced we're gaga over each other in two weeks."

"That's great," Baralai said, even though it wasn't, was a lie, wasn't real. Couldn't ever be real. "Perfect. Thank you."

"Don't think you're off the hook. I'm still angry that you went lone wolf," Gippal said, pushing back from the table. "I'm inviting Nooj and Paine to the banquet and making you explain all of this to them. Your real punishment hasn't even begun."

Baralai groaned.

\----------

"We have reservations tonight," Gippal said from behind him a few days later.

In front of Baralai, Varaja and Talma exchanged a look between themselves. Baralai didn't look up from the bulletin he was reading, even though his chances of concentrating on it were lowered. "I'm aware," he said. He was very aware. He was dreading it after the last few days had gone by with no more explosions, political or otherwise, and everything had settled, including his libido, mostly because he had hidden in his office for as long as possible and made sure to take long showers in the morning. Gippal was always asleep when he came home; Baralai was both disappointed and grateful.

Around them, the newly adjourned council members milled around outside the meeting hall. Baralai didn't miss the whispering now that he was listening for it. He looked up and handed the bulletin back to Talma. "Submit it to Isaaru to double-check," he said, taking the easy way out. Maybe Isaaru would assume they were being plagued with microaggressions and wouldn't shout at him.

Gippal stepped up beside Baralai. "Are you done? You look mostly done."

"I have a quick meeting with a few business owners to address concerns raised over property taxes and then I'll be done."

Gippal grinned. "Good. I'll be in your quarters, so come find me." He reached out and curved a palm around Baralai's jaw and pulled him into a kiss.

Baralai hadn't lost count of the times Gippal had kissed him since he had become determined to sell their relationship, because he was going to hoard all of them for later, when it was all over. When Gippal pulled away, it made twelve.

"Councillors," Gippal said, grinning. "If you see him trying to make a break for it, send word." He leaned forward, and said in an exaggerated whisper, "He's nervous about it being our three month anniversary."

Talma just stared at Gippal with no response.

"I'm sure you'll have a lovely evening," Varaja said, breaking the awkward silence. "If you'll excuse us."

"Of course," Baralai said, and nodded as Varaja and Talma left. "I have an idea," he said quietly. "Don't needle the bigots."

"Please," Gippal said. "They need 1,000 needles at least." He stepped closer to Baralai. "Mmm, there's a lot of councillors here." He smiled, slow and wicked, and Baralai loved that smile. "What's the limit on public displays of affection?"

"For most of the people here you've already surpassed it," Baralai said, but he couldn't help smiling back.

"Unfortunate." Gippal ran his palm down the front of Baralai's robe, but pulled away before it became too suggestive. "See you tonight. Don't be late."

Once he was gone, Baralai attempted to get himself under control amid the obvious stares from the remaining councilors and bystanders.

If he was was more distracted than normal in his meeting, well, at least none of them commented on it, even though, as they all left, one of them congratulated him on his young man. Gippal, Baralai thought, would get a kick out of being described that way.

His amusement only lasted until he returned to his quarters, though, because he opened the door and all the comedy was replaced with Gippal's shimmery wet torso as he dried his hair with a towel. The towel around his waist didn't look secure, either, and Baralai ripped his eyes away from the gap in the towel and Gippal's wet thigh to shut the door and re-lock it.

"Oh, hey," Gippal said. Steam was still drifting into the room from the washroom. "Are you okay? You look... not great. Meeting go badly?"

"No," Baralai croaked, then realized he should seize the moment. "I mean, yes, it was... a little stressful. It's fine now. I only needed some quiet."

"Well, it's plenty quiet here," Gippal said, and Baralai noticed his eyepatch was missing again and he didn't seem to be in a hurry to put it on. "You done for the day?"

"Yes," Baralai said, as Gippal headed for the bedroom and thankfully nudged the doors almost closed so Baralai couldn't watch. Not that he wasn't imagining Gippal naked in his bedroom, because he definitely was. He was imagining Gippal naked a lot. He didn't need additional help.

"You're wearing something nice!" Gippal shouted. "People are going to be recording us."

"Pick something for me to wear, then," Baralai said, and started unpacking his bag for want of something to do that wasn't imagining pushing into his room to see if the tan on Gippal's back went all the way down.

Gippal leaned around the edge of the one of the doors, his towel held over his crotch. "Are you serious?"

"Are you still naked?" Baralai demanded, thankful that his complexion could hide most of the blush he felt crawling up his neck. "Get dressed and then let's have a conversation."

Gippal grinned. "No takebacks. I heard you, you said I could choose your clothes."

"Within reason." Baralai sat down on the couch so he couldn't see the flex of Gippal's thighs. "Put on pants first."

"Aww, so shy," Gippal teased, but shuffled back into the bedroom.

Baralai pressed his face into his hands and breathed out hard. Thankfully, once Gippal was dressed, it was easier for Baralai to deal with him. And despite Gippal's generally odd taste in attire, he chose nice clothes for Baralai, a mixture of dark red robes that Baralai would never have chosen for himself but looked nice regardless. And if Baralai enjoyed Gippal's hands on him, well, that was something he was going to keep to himself.

\----------

The restaurant Gippal had chosen was one of the nicer ones in the inner-city, recently established and very popular, and most importantly, Baralai thought idly as they were very promptly seated in the open air dining, along a main thoroughfare.

"Surely, you'd prefer something more private," the hostess said. Her nametag said Malli, and she looked nervously between him and Gippal as they took their seats.

"I wanted to get some air," Gippal said. "I've been cooped up for the last few days." He grinned at Malli and her face flushed. Under the table, Baralai nudged his leg with a foot. Gippal only glanced at him smugly.

"Of course," Malli said. "If you change your mind, please, by all means, let us know. Your server will be with your shortly. Happy anniversary."

"Must you?" Baralai asked, when she had bustled away. He already wanted a very, very alcoholic drink.

"You love my innuendo."

"Yes, I'll love reading all about my sex dungeon tomorrow and how I've kept you locked up for days and nights on end."

Gippal laughed, and the awkwardness Baralai had worried about easily faded over the next hour through their dinner courses. They were stared at from the street beyond the restaurant boundary, for sure, but Gippal's presence had always been a balm to Baralai. It was easy to fall into the comfort of their easy friendship and ignore the gawkers, even when Gippal was tangling their feet under the table, feeding him samples of his dinner, and licking his utensils in ways that were uncalled for in a public place.

"Cake!" Gippal said when their dinner dishes were being cleared away. 

"How can you still be hungry?" Baralai asked. "I feel like I could roll home."

"It's our anniversary, so I get to have cake," Gippal told their server, and spent the time waiting talking about an engine he wanted to rebuild for some kind of hovercraft, most of which went entirely over Baralai's head. It was wonderful to watch Gippal's delight, the way he spoke with his hands, and the way the soft candlelight from the dinner light made his skin glow.

The rich chocolate cake came and Baralai watched Gippal eat most of it, still lecturing him about engine maintenance, until Gippal sliced off a piece and held it up.

"I'm going to explode," Baralai said.

"Just try it," Gippal said, making a face at him.

Baralai gave in, because he wasn't going to say no to that expression. The cake was smooth and perfectly sweet and soft on his tongue as Gippal drew the fork away, and Baralai licked at some stray frosting on his lip. "It's good."

Gippal nodded, watching him intently for a moment, before dropping his eyes back to his plate. "Good. Good."

He was quiet as they finished their meal; Baralai couldn't figure out what had happened, so he bumped their shoulders together as they headed out of the restaurant. "You okay?"

Gippal smiled at him, a little sadly. "Probably ate too much."

Baralai nodded. "Want to go for a walk before heading back home?"

Gippal nodded; they fell into step together as they headed onto the street. People tended to not bother Baralai much when he was out during evenings, respecting that even the Praetor needed downtime, but Baralai saw his bodyguards subtly slip into step behind them, too. They were halfway down the block when Gippal reached out and tangled their hands together tightly.

Baralai swallowed. It was easy to forget that this was meant to be a date and that everything they did had a purpose. He took a deep breath and squeezed Gippal's hand in his.

"I feel like I should quiz you on the waverider I'm building," Gippal said after a few seconds, as they turned onto a longer street, carefully moving around other people. "You were nodding along, but you got nothing, didn't you?"

"I thought it was a hovercraft," Baralai admitted.

"Doable in theory, but too hard to build to transition on multiple types of terrain." Gippal swung their arms a little bit. "No, I was talking about making a waverider for our deep dive teams so they can spread out more widely but still reach each other without having to take a whole other craft. So many uses!"

"You know I don't know engines like you," Baralai teased.

"Yeah, yeah," Gippal said. "Sorry if I bored you."

"I wasn't bored." Baralai looked down at their feet, crossing the paving stones. "I like when you're excited about things."

"Hmm." Gippal nudged closer. "I had fun. I mean, I knew I would, because us, but I also didn't really care that I was basically a sideshow."

"It won't be that bad," Baralai said. "The press here are used to me. Less pushy."

"So there won't be a story about your sex dungeon?" Gippal teased. "I'm bummed."

Baralai snorted. "When would I have time to maintain a sex dungeon, anyway? Not exactly something you can whip up between four meetings that are all five and six hours long every day."

"If you had one, though, you'd tell me, right?"

"Yes, Gippal," Baralai said, barely suppressing a laugh. "As soon as I establish a sex dungeon, you'll be the first person I invite."

Gippal jerked him to a stop.

Baralai flailed until he regained his balance. "What?"

"I'd be honored to be the first person in your sex dungeon," Gippal said, expression amused, but also something else Baralai couldn't name. And he lost his chance when Gippal stepped into his space and kissed him.

They had shared so many kisses in the last few days, but this one felt different: more forceful, more pointed. Gippal's mouth was warm and soft and he tasted like chocolate and beer, and he urged Baralai's mouth open, deepened the kiss and tugged Baralai into him, wrapping an arm around Baralai's waist.

Baralai gripped Gippal's hips and held on; he had never been kissed like this, by anyone, someone determined to lay him out and leave him gasping while only using their mouth.

When Gippal's free hand found its way to Baralai's neck and squeezed, the warmth of his palm a distinct difference from the cool evening temperature, Baralai remembered they were on the street.

In public.

He pulled away, or tried to, leaving Gippal chasing his mouth and instead kissing his jaw. He shuddered when Gippal bit down on the curve of his neck, right by his ear, and in a few seconds he'd be fully hard and everything would be awkward.

"Okay," Baralai murmured. "Everyone's convinced."

"Mmm?" 

"We're in public," Baralai said softly. "I know it was the point of this, but let's not be indecent about it."

Gippal tugged himself away and stared at Baralai for a moment. He seemed... sad, somehow, and Baralai was frustrated that it vanished almost immediately, replaced with an easy smile. "You know me. If there' a job to be done, I'm thorough."

"I'm a firm believer in your work ethic." Baralai missed his warmth already; the sun had gone down an hour before and the chill off the ocean was already setting in. Any other date, any other person, Baralai would be suggesting they take it home for some privacy.

But not here and not now. And, Baralai thought bitterly as they turned for the temple, hands still clasped but something missing, not them.

\----------

Their anniversary dinner had been a success, according to Gippal and Isaaru, but Baralai missed it by getting tied up with a surprise diplomatic visit from the Ronso due to conflict over land that he hadn't even realized New Yevon owned. Baralai spent a week working with them, because he trusted no one else to get it right. The Ronso weren't dumb animals, and too many on the council saw nothing but. Baralai's days were full, and at night he fell into bed long after his normal bedtime.

Gippal was already asleep when he crashed and gone when he woke up. Baralai didn't know how he felt about it and resolved not to dwell.

He woke up the day after the Ronso delegation had departed, still exhausted, late for everything, achy, and with a headache, to find Gippal reading on the couch when he wandered out of the bedroom like he hadn't allowed Baralai to oversleep.

"Were you planning on waking me?" he asked, looking at the bright sunlight outside the window.

Gippal snorted and looked him up and down. "I had Isaaru cancel your stuff for the day. Don't worry, there will be time for more boring meetings tomorrow."

Baralai yawned and flopped down beside Gippal on the couch. "I should be so mad at you."

"Yeah, right, Mr. Overwork, I'm the one in the wrong." Gippal shifted, and Baralai found himself tucked into Gippal's side. "You spent a week doing the job of four people. Give yourself a break."

"I had a meeting with the construction team for the new blitzball stadium."

"They'll reschedule."

"And the historical society."

"The past is great because it'll still be there and there will be _even more_ for you to get excited about. Tomorrow."

"Mmm," Baralai said, and let himself relax into Gippal's warmth. Gippal said something else, but Baralai lost it as he drifted. When he opened his eyes next his head was in Gippal's lap, his face mashed into Gippal's bare stomach. He smelled like coffee and Baralai's soap.

He wanted to go back to sleep; it was so comfortable and Gippal smelled so good, but his body was ready to be up. He never slept this late. He stretched a leg off the couch and rolled a bit.

"Hey," Gippal said above him. "If you were gonna sleep another two hours you could have just stayed in bed." He ran his fingers through Baralai's hair, which Baralai could already tell was a mess.

"Sorry," Baralai said, not managing to sound very apologetic.

Gippal grinned. "Hey, it's cool. If you need to lay on me, I'm always available."

And that gave him imagery he really did not need. Baralai groaned and pushed Gippal's hands away and levered himself off the couch. "I need to... do something. What time is it?"

"Almost lunch time," Gippal said. His tone was clipped, so Baralai looked back at him, concerned.

"I'm sorry, I—" Baralai blew out a breath. "Thanks for not waking me up. I guess I needed the sleep."

Gippal's expression softened. "Like I said, any time. Want me to call for lunch?"

"Call?" Baralai said, in mock surprise. "You mean, you're not going to force me to go to the kitchen?"

"No way," Gippal said. "You're confined to this room. You're too good at sneaking off to work if I let you out. You're taking an _entire_ day off."

Baralai laughed, but when he emerged from his shower, he found that Gippal meant it. He was given food and then parked forcefully on the couch with a book he hadn't yet found time to read. He was antsy, thinking of unfinished work and canceled meetings, but when Gippal tossed his legs over Baralai's thighs, like he knew Baralai was thinking of making a break for it, he resigned himself to a restful afternoon.

And it was restful, except for the distraction of Gippal's warmth, and the way his shirt and low cotton pants teased glimpses of his stomach and hip. Baralai itched to reach out and touch, just once, to see if his skin was as soft as it looked. He managed to read a few chapters, but when he had reread the same page three times he closed the book and looked at Gippal, dozing, bathed in the late afternoon sunlight coming through the window.

Baralai wanted Gippal so much. He wanted everything. He consoled himself by resting his arms more firmly on Gippal's shins, casually cupping one knee with his hand. Gippal didn't stir.

He wondered what might happen if he told Gippal the truth about his feelings. Gippal didn't like dating… classy people, but he had seen Baralai in so many horrific and humiliating situations in the past, maybe it wouldn't matter much. Maybe he'd be willing to give a real date a try; one they could both invest in.

And maybe he'd destroy their friendship. They weren't Paine and Nooj, after all, who seemed almost destined to be together, perfectly matched. Plus, Gippal had a busy life outside Baralai, and it wasn't like Baralai could leave Bevelle regularly, either. The logistics were horrible.

And how would they move on if Gippal said no? How would they deal with it? Baralai hated unknowns. And this type of risk... it was too much. He believed Gippal now when he said that Gippal would never turn his back on him, but he didn't want to lose what he and Gippal had now because he was greedy for more. The friendship they had was so solid and important to him.

He sighed and dropped his head to the back of the couch before picking his book back up and putting his ridiculous thoughts aside in favor of fiction.

\----------

"It's a start," Isaaru said later that week, after Baralai finished reading the first draft of the cover letter to accompany his proposal. He handed over notes he had scribbled during Baralai's recitation. "Tighten up the middle and find an ending somewhere."

"I'll revise and get back to you," Baralai said. "How are the edits to the proposal itself?"

"Coming along," Isaaru said. "I still think submitting the proposal sooner rather than later would be a good idea. It's more aggressive. And frankly, I'd rather have your proposal out before any leaked spheres."

Baralai leaned back in his seat. "No luck on that front?"

"None," Isaaru said. "It's time to come clean with the affected parties and hope that the councillors are bluffing."

"You say that like I don't have to crawl in shame to the High Summoner," Baralai said, wryly.

"Yuna understands politics," Isaaru said. "And blackmail."

"I know, I know. I'll have Yamara organize a visit." He began straightening up his desk, thankful that the day was almost over. Food carts were beginning to pop up in the lead up to a newly established summer festival sponsored by local farmers, and Baralai was looking forward to taking Gippal to as many of them as he could before all their lines were too long.

"You know, you could just tell him," Isaaru said, startling Baralai out of his thought.

He fumbled with his things as he stood to put them in his bag. "This again?"

"You get a look on your face," Isaaru said. "It's fairly obvious."

"I thought we agreed last week to drop this. Gippal's doing me a favor, nothing more."

"A man doesn't take weeks out of his schedule to play a game this long with someone he doesn't care for." Isaaru stood to meet Baralai's gaze. "And then you would know for sure, and be able to move on instead of wondering and being, frankly, overly distracted."

"Yeah, I see that going over well. 'Hey Gippal, you know how I promised to stop keeping secrets? Well, turns out I want to date you seriously and have for a few years.' Nothing could go wrong."

"If that's your idea of sharing your feelings with someone," Isaaru said, laughing, "I can see why your dates have been few and far between." He sobered, and added, "But Baralai, the worst that could happen is that he's not interested in something serious. He'll still be your friend. He's friends with many of the people he dated before."

"What?" Baralai asked, confused. "How do you know that?"

"Because unlike you I don't see red when I think about them and can pay attention."

"I'm nowhere near that bad," Baralai grumbled, as they headed out of his office, locking the door behind them. He didn't think he had been that bad. But it was true he gave Gippal's former dating partners a wide berth, except Nhadala and Rikku. That wasn't possible unless he wanted to quit New Yevon and society as a whole, become a hermit, and move to a deserted island. And then Rikku would probably still crop up somehow. 

"For the hundredth time, just consider it without talking yourself out of it based on how badly it could go," Isaaru said. "Give yourself a chance."

They parted on Isaaru's advice, and Baralai headed back to his quarters, looking forward to inviting Gippal to dinner. He imagined asking Gippal out, properly, and although he wouldn't do it, it was nice to imagine Gippal saying yes instead of all the different ways he could say no.

As he turned down the hall to his quarters, he could hear arguing, and Gippal's voice. He followed, curious, only to find Gippal outside his door, blocking whoever he was talking to, speaking in rapid-fire Al Bhed. Baralai was still learning Al Bhed and considering himself reasonably proficient, but he couldn't keep up with Gippal when he went on a rant.

"Gippal," he said, interrupting, and Gippal's voice cut off. When he turned, Baralai saw Rikku standing behind him, arms crossed, wearing a dark black diving suit and a scowl. Baralai had seen Rikku angry enough times to know that this time, she was _very_ angry. Gippal looked furious, too, and Baralai knew he was gaping at them.

Gippal turned and said something else—an apology and more that Baralai missed—and tugged him inside the room, leaving Rikku outside, muttering to herself.

"What's going on?"

Gippal ran a hand through his hair. "There's something I've gotta go do," he said, and all Baralai's hopes of taking Gippal out for dinner vanished. "We knew this would happen, right? Not a big deal. I'll be back in a few days."

"Is everything... okay?" He tried not to pry into Gippal's business too often, because it was so closely tied with other people's actual business and livelihood, due to Gippal's freelancing, but Gippal looked upset. "Can I help?"

"No!" Gippal said, and Baralai jerked back, only for Gippal to cup his shoulders. "No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean—it's—no you can't help, not with this. It's just business, you know how it is. A time-sensitive thing."

"Of course," Baralai said. "You'll... be back soon?"

"Yep, for sure," Gippal nodded, determined. "Quick job, back before you even miss me."

"I doubt that," Baralai said, smiling. "Take care."

"Yeah, Gippal said, and before Baralai could pull away, Gippal pressed forward and kissed him, chaste and all-too-brief, his hand curving down Baralai's jaw as he pulled away. "I'll be back in time for the banquet. I _swear_."

Baralai nodded, mute, as Gippal opened the door on an impatient Rikku, who looked, if anything, more angry. "Remember to take breaks," Gippal said, pointing sternly at Baralai before closing the door and leaving him alone in his quarters, freshly kissed, and utterly confused.

Baralai stared at the closed door for a full minute after Gippal had gone.

He had, quite honestly, forgotten about the banquet, but Gippal's promise to return before reminded him it was in less than a week. There were only five days before they would be paraded before the entire political population of Bevelle, before Yuna would arrive from Besaid and Baralai would be giving her bad news, and in which he wasn't sure Gippal would even be available to plan how they were going to handle... anything.

All of that paled as Baralai replayed the kiss, over and over and over.

Gippal never kissed him in private. He only did it in public: with eyes on them or with a captive audience that could help their story. Gippal had never once kissed him in this room.

Until now.

Baralai wanted to read into it, but... it could have been the power of habit. Gippal, used to leaning in to kiss him goodbye before his meetings, when he saw him in the halls of the temple, and during public meals, could have made a mistake. It didn't have to mean anything. Perhaps he was kicking himself for messing up even now.

He took a deep breath. It had been long enough that habit explained it. He didn't need to read into it at all, because there was nothing to read into. His imagination was overactive.

His evening stretched out before him, empty of his normal dinner time with Gippal. He looked over his rooms, huge and for the first time, a little lonely, and decided to eat in the kitchen.

Just this once.

\----------

It wasn't so awful, in the end, that Gippal had to go back to work, because Baralai used the next two days to finish his speech and help Isaaru with the paperwork to resubmit his proposal. And it gave him a break from socializing, which he realized he was going to need when he looked up from his desk at a hard knock on his door to see Nooj planted in the entryway, with Paine's distinct hair peeking over his shoulder.

"Hi," he said, pleasantly surprised to see them early.

"Hi," Nooj said, mockingly. Paine peered around Nooj's bulky arm and fixed him with a glare.

Baralai winced and adjusted his expectations about their visit. "He promised he would let me tell you first."

"Yeah, and he couldn't be here to make you fess up, so he ratted you out," Paine said. She urged Nooj into the room and closed the door behind her, flipping the lock. Baralai swallowed his nerves. It had been years since he had run from Nooj and Paine's judgment, and he wasn't going to start now. If he could face Nidus and Varaja and call them racist to their face, he could be honest with his friends.

"I'm sorry," he said, as they sat down across from his desk. "I should have told you."

"You're damn right." Nooj leaned forward in his seat and pointed at him with a metal finger. "We could have avoided all this unnecessary drama."

"Yeah, name one way that doesn't involve those spheres being leaked." Baralai sat back in his chair heavily. "I couldn't find one other option beside that."

"Let them leak," Paine said. "You think so little of Yuna that she wouldn't immediately provide the context and support you? That was a confusing time. None of us knew the whole story." She snorted. "Imagine Yuna hearing that New Yevon was _blackmailing_ you. You've seen her temper."

"It's not guaranteed," Baralai said. "Yuna's influence was stronger three years ago and in Bevelle she's—well, you know what they call her, even if they would never do it publicly." He rubbed his eyes. "It's been a point of debate and contention on their side with how to handle interracial families and businesses. That's a solid platform of my proposal and has been since the beginning, in fact. My... Gippal's involvement gave us another chance to make a hard push."

"So you're going to fight back _now_ ," Nooj said.

"Yes. It's prepared to be filed." Baralai shrugged. "It'll be in by the time the banquet rolls around, which is going to make for a dramatic evening."

"Your swing voters?" Paine asked.

"We're cautiously optimistic that they'll see reason," Baralaid said. "Listen, I don't know how this will play out. As soon as Varaja and Nidus see my proposal, they may leak everything they have, including the fact that I tried to stall for time by compromising with them initially. My revised proposal makes the first compromise proposal I tried with them look like every birthday gift they've received rolled into one. They could retaliate. Our earlier stalling just makes us look undecided."

"Well, dating Gippal _doesn't_ ," Paine said. "And you've both been doing a good job making it believable. LeBlanc put out a special issue and everything. It was…" She paused, glanced at Nooj and then back at Baralai, and followed up with, "... nice."

Nooj snorted. "I do so enjoy seeing Gippal shirtless and glistening."

Baralai managed to choke while laughing and coughed while Paine and Nooj laughed at him.

"You won the poll for most attractive politician?" Paine offered as Baralai buried his face in his hands and got himself under control.

"Oh, well, if I won that." Baralai took a few deep breaths. "I have to admit, I expected more yelling. So thanks for not doing that. I get enough of that from, you know, the council."

"Don't get excited," Paine said.

"We're here for a _week_ ," Nooj said. "Possibly longer. There's plenty of time to let you know how stupid you've been acting."

" _Plenty_ of time, but not here. Over drinks," Paine said firmly. "We had to take a regular transport. There were loud babies."

"It's one in the afternoon," Baralai said, amused.

"We'll get a head start," Paine urged Nooj up and Baralai followed, already regretting the inevitable hangover.

It was a nice change, for sure, to be out with Nooj and Paine, because people didn't care to stare at him so much when it was them, because Nooj was a known grump and people in Bevelle were well-versed in seeing him verbally massacre people on camera, all while sounding reasonable and forthright. They made it back home late, stumbling into the temple so loudly they ended up surrounded by seven guards.

Nooj snickered at him as Baralai assured them he was fine and he didn't need help to his room. Baralai made a rude gesture at him as soon as the guards dispersed. "I'm going to make you sleep on the floor," he muttered.

"Unfortunately Yamara beat you to it when we got here," Nooj said. "We have a room."

Baralai slowed down, which had the added benefit of helping his balance. _Never go shot to shot with Paine_ , he reminded himself. He never learned. "Openly? Here?" He glanced behind him at Paine, bringing up the rear of their drunken group. She looked perfectly balanced. He hated her and her hardy constitution.

She shrugged. "Let them gossip."

"Not even married," Baralai said, and burped. "Scandalous."

"More so: the Praetor falling down drunk," Paine said.

"Not so," Baralai replied.

"You fell three times on the way here," Nooj said.

"I have more political clout than you." Baralai was only using the wall a little, he was fine. "They'd believe me if you tried to sully my—whatever."

"Your whatever. Perfectly clear, Praetor," Nooj said, and opened his door when they arrived. Paine pushed him through and only when her hands were gone did he realize she had been guiding him. Why did he always drink with them? Always. This happened… a lot, with them and alcohol. He squinted as Nooj turned on a table lamp. It burned like Flare. His eyeballs hurt.

"Okay," he said. "Perhaps I am a little intox—drunk. Yes."

"A little," Paine said, laughing, and together she and Nooj pushed him toward his bedroom, which had no Gippal in it. Gippal had gone somewhere, to some job, in a desert. Baralai hoped he didn't get eaten by a Zu. Or seduced by Rikku. The second one, that… was probably more dangerous.

"Rikku doesn't want to date Gippal again," Paine said, and maybe he had said that out loud?

"You're saying a lot of things out loud," Nooj said, distantly. There was water running, and then Nooj stomped back in, heavily. Gippal was never this loud. He was considerate when he came to bed. And left it. So considerate and quiet.

"Don't worry, Gippal is all yours." At some point, Paine had stripped off his outer robes. She shoved him back on his bed and started unlacing his boots.

"Not really," Baralai said sadly. "I'm too classy."

Nooj laughed. "If he could only see you now."

"Hey, I don't—I don't… " Baralai paused. "I'm _very_ important."

"It's good we know you to parse that sentence," Paine muttered from below. "You're a lightweight. There's worse things to be."

"Like in love with Gippal," Baralai whispered, so only she could hear him. It didn't work, because Nooj was making a noise like an angry chocobo behind him somewhere.

"Don't make fun," Paine said, but she didn't sound mad, just amused. He watched her pull his boots off and toss them aside, fascinated by the way her hands moved. "Baralai, you won't remember this so I'm not going to feel bad about breaking a confidence, but Gippal wants to marry you and adopt adorable orphans together."

"Uh huh," Baralai said. "Caught you. Gippal doesn't want to have kids."

"Yes," Paine said patiently, pushing him back onto the mattress. "He doesn't want to reproduce because having his own kids means he's not adopting them with you."

"Kids are big," Baralai said as she and Nooj pulled his covers up over him. "Anyway, not with me. Too classy."

Paine sighed and rubbed his head. "I wouldn't have suggested this if I had known you were both pining this badly. You're both a mess and need to stop being afraid of your feelings."

"He said," Baralai insisted. "He told me."

"You misunderstood," Nooj said, and actually patted his shoulder.

"Ugh," Baralai replied, and he couldn't find the words to tell them they were wrong.

"There's a glass of water beside your bed," Paine said. "I'm so sorry for tomorrow morning."

"Okay," Baralai said, and he didn't want to close his eyes because he didn't quite understand what Paine meant yet, but he was tired and comfortable and if he slept, it meant Gippal would be back sooner.

Sleep, he thought, was magic.

\----------

Baralai deserved both the headache and gaps in his memory the next morning for forgetting that Paine was a menace with shots. But he was certain he didn't deserve the presence of both Nidus _and_ Varaja in his office when he finally made it out of bed and to work.

Yamara was on her lunch break; her desk outside his office was empty. _They waited until now on purpose_ , Baralai thought meanly, as he spied them through the open door. He ached everywhere, he was sick to his stomach, and felt like his head was going to explode. _Please let me not start an incident or vomit on them_ , he begged the universe. Isaaru would never forgive him.

Well, he would probably forgive Baralai for vomiting on them. But Baralai didn't want to test that theory.

"Hello," he said as he stepped into his office and headed to his desk. "I'm sorry, were you on the schedule for today?"

"Drop the act," Nidus said, voice low and threatening. Baralai startled as he rounded his desk and stared. 

"Pardon?"

"Who did you hire to take them?" Varaja asked, voice cool. Only the tight press of her lips and the angry red on her cheeks gave her away her fury.

"Please," Nidus chimed in. "We know it was his Al-Bhed whore. He's on a convenient trip that takes him out of the city and spheres that implicate the Praetor in a massive cover-up vanish from our personal quarters?"

"Not to mention several personal items of great value," Varaja said. "Perhaps to put us in our place, Praetor?"

Baralai put his bag down on his desk and took a few slow, deep breaths as Nidus and Varaja watched him unpack a few items. He sat in his chair and finally looked at them both. "You're upset, so I'll forgive you for insulting my partner—"

"Give it up," Nidus said. "He's an accomplice playing a part. Even if you have the world believing he's bedding you because of true love, we know the truth. Spare us."

"Well, congratulations for your discovery about our villainous plot," Baralai said, fighting for calm. They couldn't know, not really, and simply wanted to put him off balance. _Calm. Stay calm._ "I'll be interested to see the evidence for this accusation that Gippal has arranged for you to be robbed. Unless, of course, you have none, and that's why you're here flinging slurs at me, because it's the only avenue available."

"We know you're behind this," Varaja said. "Very few people knew those spheres existed, and would have no reason to scour our quarters and take them. This will not end well for you, or your people, if you don't return them. We'll consider this resolved as long as they reappear by the end of the day."

Baralai considered her for a long moment. "You've been threatening me for several months. I thought I could let it pass or handle it, but it's exhausting and stressful. It's made me overlook important things. So I'll be opting out of the threats from now on, councillor. Feel free to smear me however you choose to others, but don't continue bringing me your nonsense."

"You'll regret this," Nidus said. "You and that—."

"You don't want to finish that sentence," Baralai replied, even though he wanted to wring Nidus's neck for bringing his hatred and vileness anywhere near Gippal. "Now unless you have something constructive to discuss, please leave so I can prepare for meeting with the people with legitimate appointments." He sighed, heavily. "Unless you'd prefer for me to call the guards. I'm sure they would be _very_ concerned about the theft of your personal property."

Varaja turned and exited quietly, fury making her stiff, but Nidus took a few seconds longer. When he was at the door, Baralai called out, "Councillor Nidus."

Nidus turned, eyes dark with anger.

"When everything in your life begins to spiral out of your control," Baralai said, casually, "remember it was this moment that started the process." He held Nidus's gaze firmly. "Your political career ended the moment you called Gippal a whore." He smiled. "And unlike you and Varaja, I follow through on my threats. Good day, councilor."

He waited until Nidus had stormed away before he relaxed. He sat for a long time, turning over their accusations in his head, trying to make sense of them. Gippal had left quickly, it was true, and hadn't told Baralai where he was going… but he wouldn't be so stupid as to directly interfere. Baralai and Isaaru had considered it seriously, early on, and had deemed it entirely too risky. Gippal wouldn't, not without talking to Baralai first. It was too dangerous, both for Gippal individually, and the Al-Bhed politically.

_He wouldn't_ , Baralai thought. _He would trust me enough to discuss it first_. But he sounded uncertain even to himself. And Rikku... she hadn't looked happy.

She hadn't looked happy at all.

He sat so long staring into space, caught between certainty that Gippal was involved versus certainty that this was convenience for Nidus and Varaja, some sort of act or trap he just had to avoid walking into, that he jumped when Paine knocked on the door frame.

"You look terrible," Paine said. "Worse than usual after drinking with us."

"Is Nooj with you?" Baralai asked, his voice hoarse.

"No, he wanted to go the library. What's wrong?"

He swallowed. "Close and lock the door."

Paine didn't ask questions; she shut the door, turned the lock, and then promptly put a chair under the knob, as well. _Quick thinking_ , Baralai mused, given Isaaru had keys, as she vanished behind him to do the same to the double doors leading to the balcony. He listened, rather than watched, because he was focusing on breathing.

He was focusing on breathing, and not imagining Gippal arrested for stealing, being walked out of the temple in shame, being taken away from him in a way Baralai couldn't fix—

"Hey." Paine's hands were gentle on his shoulders, soft, careful. She had always been the best field medic. Thoughtful. Aware. "You should breathe slower. You're going to pass out."

"Where—" Baralai sucked in more air. "You talked to Gippal. He said he was leaving for a job. Where?"

Paine didn't remove her hands. She was so close he could smell the lotion she used, and metal, and oil that also smelled like Nooj. "He didn't say. We mostly talked about you."

"So you don't know where he is. If he has an alibi."

"Why in the world—"

"Someone stole the spheres from Nidus and Varaja," Baralai said in a rush. "They stole them. And Gippal left here with Rikku and the spheres are missing."

Paine's eyes widened. "No, he…"

"Would," Baralai finished for her. "He would. He _would_ for me if he would pretend to _date_ me." He laughed, hysterically, before he had to focus on breathing again. "What's a little theft when tabloids are speculating on which of us gives better blowjobs? He took Rikku. Wherever they went, Rikku went with him. Rikku."

Paine closed her eyes and breathed out, long, long, before she spoke again. "He didn't say anything to you?"

"He said he had a job. He doesn't tell me about work. It's private." Baralai added, "Rikku was not happy."

They sat there together and Baralai felt even more sick; he felt dizzy and hot and there was sweat running down his back and it wasn't even warm in his office. Everything felt wrong.

"Okay," Paine said. "So he's taken the spheres somehow. But come on, he's smart."

Baralai snorted.

"Stop. Think. He's done this for you so he's likely run through all the scenarios. He didn't do it himself—he's probably somewhere in a desert with one of his dig groups who will all say he spent the entire time with them and have footage to prove it. But he told someone what to do and how to do it. He knows Bevelle."

"Rikku?"

"Not sure," Paine said. "She was supposed to go to Besaid and come back with Yuna for the banquet. But I can't say. Gippal and Rikku have a weird relationship these days. Maybe."

"We think he did it," Baralai said. "Right?"

Paine sighed. "He definitely, _definitely_ did it."

"This is a disaster." Baralai grabbed Paine's arms. "Without the spheres, the proposals will leak. Everything. Who knows what else they have if they had those spheres."

"Okay," Paine said. "You have to calm down."

"I'm perfectly calm!" Baralai said.

"You can barely breathe," Paine shoved him against the backrest of his chair. "Sit, be still, calm down. Nothing's going to explode in the next ten minutes."

"I'm going to check that and give you such a hard time," Baralai muttered, but tried to relax. 

He didn't get to give her a hard time, but ten minutes passed and she judged him well enough to leave his office for his quarters, putting Yamara in charge of rescheduling his meetings. His thoughts were looping, wildly, because he wasn't going to be able to fix this if Gippal had been the one to… if he had.

And he had. Baralai felt it. He knew.

And he didn't know what in the world he was going to do about it.

\----------

Baralai stood in front of his window in his quarters, a glass of untouched wine in his hand. In the sitting area, he could hear Paine talking quietly to Yuna via his private sphere console. He couldn't hear Yuna's replies, but Paine's voice was firm.

"You could drink it," Nooj said, coming to stand beside it. "I promise we won't get you soused this time."

Baralai sighed and shook his head. "I'm sorry I'm distracted."

"Yes, that's what we're concerned about right now." Nooj glanced over his shoulder at Paine, still talking with Yuna. "Yuna hasn't heard from Rikku in over a week."

"And that's bad."

"Well, it's not _good_ , but bad remains to be seen." Nooj shrugged. "Rikku doesn't generally vanish into thin air. Perhaps Brother would know, but he hasn't been answering calls."

"Right." Baralai stared out of the window at the midday sky, dark clouds scrolling by, and wondered where Gippal was, what he was thinking, if he'd been thinking, period, and if he missed Baralai at all. _Stupid to speculate_ , he chided himself firmly as Nooj stepped back toward Paine. Especially about that, and now of all times. One habitual kiss and a frantic, badly planned illegal act didn't change anything.

He would have to wait for Gippal to return and talk to him. That's all he could do.

"Yuna's coming up a day early," Paine said a few minutes later after she ended the call.

"How, if Brother is missing, too?" Baralai asked.

"Probably Cid? Maybe Rin, though," Paine said. "But the earliest she'll get here is tomorrow afternoon."

Baralai tuned them out as he stared into his wineglass. He needed to speak with Isaaru. He needed to start work on a plan for any leaks to handle potential fallout. What he wanted to do was climb under his covers and hide from the world. The spheres had been damning, but he had allowed himself to be backed into a corner over them. The altered proposal drafts, carving more and more rights from the Al Bhed off to gain paltry accomodations from the rest of the council were even more damning. And not only for him at this point; would other Al Bhed leaders believe that Gippal had had nothing to do with it? If only he had told Gippal sooner.

"Oh no," Nooj said, snapping Baralai back to his conversation with Paine. "He's making the face."

"That's a face that needs a pile of oysters and a beer," Paine said. She laughed at the face Baralai made. "Without the hangover."

"There's nothing you can do right now," Nooj said. "Let's go eat lunch, then let me break the news to Isaaru."

"You get too much enjoyment out of that," Baralai said. 

"Exactly," Nooj said, opening the door. "It's no fun terrifying my assistants, they're used—"

Baralai turned from setting his wineglass down to see what had interrupted Nooj to see Gippal framed in the doorway. He looked sandy and a little sunburned across his nose, his arms full of dusty leather bags. "Wow, a welcome party. You all miss me that much?"

"You're toast," Paine said, and Gippal's smile faded. "Come in and shut the door."

"No," Baralai said quietly. "Could you... could you let me talk to him first?"

Paine and Nooj looked at each other for a long moment as Gippal made his way in and dropped his bags. Nooj shrugged and headed out the door. Paine gave Gippal a critical look and then said, "We'll wait in our room for an hour," she said. "If you need us." Then she stalked out, the door snicking shut behind her.

"It's not a bad disguise," Baralai said. "Very fresh from a dig chic."

Gippal said nothing, but watched Baralai steadily.

"Your secret plan lasted one day." Baralai sat heavily on his couch. "Nidus and Varaja exposed you almost immediately. They were put out, to say the least."

Gippal snorted, but offered no denials.

Baralai bowed his head, staring hard at the patterns in his area rug. "Do you trust me so little? Do you have such little regard for my counsel that you thought lying to me was the best decision you could make?"

"You would have said no."

"Well, of course I would have," Baralai said. "It was foolhardy and dangerous and risks your reputation! I could have told you Isaaru and I considered it and decided there was too much uncertainty if you had just asked."

"You and Isaaru don't have my resources."

"You mean we don't have Rikku, who can steal or organize the theft of anything she wants. But she's the High Summoner's cousin. Did you think of what might happen if she had been caught?"

"Come on, Baralai, she didn't do it herself."

"I don't even want to know who did it." He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands until he saw stars. "I already defended you to them, so we can't return them. And if we don't return them, tomorrow we could wake up to every terrible proposal I caved to in the press. And it's not going to look good for either of us. Me, throwing the Al Bhed aside for political gain, and you, having a secret romance with the man who, via official documents, wanted to disenfranchise you and your people. Did you even think—"

"No!" Gippal said. "I _didn't_ think. You said, there are these awful spheres of a bunch of friends hurting each other—and you getting _hurt_ , and possessed—and I—" He fisted his hands in his hair. "I absolutely get it, okay. But I can't just sit and do nothing when you're being threatened, all right? I can't do it. I'm not wired that way. I'm not a guy who can watch his best friend stress over blackmail and go, well, guess my hands are tied!"

"Did Rikku think it was a good idea?" Baralai asked. "She seemed angry, to say the least."

"She didn't think it was a _bad_ idea," Gippal said. "She wasn't mad about the job. It was something else."

Baralai rested his arms on his knees. "First, I panicked when I realized what you had done. Then I was confused and—after everything you said to me about keeping the blackmail from you, you went and did this behind my back. It's like all this trust both of us thought we had wasn't very strong, Gippal."

"I only want to protect you," Gippal said, softly. He sounded, to Baralai's ear, resigned. "I'm not sorry I did it."

Baralai hadn't expected him to be. "Did you destroy them?"

"No," Gippal said. "We shipped them to Paine here at the palace."

Baralai gaped at Gippal for several seconds. "You... shipped them?"

"Yeah, from Luca. It looks like it's a bunch of blank spheres she ordered for the banquet and a new recorder."

"That's either incredibly brilliant or completely foolish." Baralai couldn't help but laugh a bit. The silence stretched on for a moment, but Baralai didn't know what to say. He wanted to shake Gippal for being so stupid. He wanted to demand to know why Gippal had kissed him. He wanted to hold him and never let him go because he did such dumb things and had no sense of self-preservation. Instead, he sat quietly.

"I am sorry I lied to you," Gippal finally said. "I was going to tell you after. I didn't think they would notice so soon."

"Well, you stole valuables from their rooms on top of the spheres. I don't know what you thought would happen."

"No, they didn't," Gippal said. "Well, they did take half of Nidus's underwear because he's a jerk, but I wouldn't call those _valuable_. And anyway, they said he had an entire chest full of underwear. We didn't think he'd miss them so soon." Gippal rolled his eyes. "Figures they'd try to pin more stuff to it to play up the drama."

"Yes, that's definitely what you should be worrying about right now," Baralai said. He stood and took a deep breath. "I honestly have had such a terrible day that I don't know what I'm feeling. I'm going to go have oysters, and pretend this didn't happen until tomorrow when Yuna arrives."

Gippal bit his lip. "Am I… invited? Or…" He huffed out a breath. "I don't know what you want from me right now, Baralai. Not that I ever do these days."

"I'm probably still angry at you," Baralai said. "But yes, you can come to dinner and tell us all about this _emergency_ work you had to go do."

Gippal beamed, tension draining out of shoulders. "Okay. Can I clean up?"

"Sure." Baralai waited until he was at the door of the bath, and said, "Meet me at Paine and Nooj's room when you're done. And you might want to look extra nice, because after lunch we're going to tell Isaaru what you've done."

Baralai didn't wait to hear the details of Gippal's very loud complaint.

\----------

Baralai led Gippal to Isaaru's office after lunch, with Nooj and Paine trailing behind them. He had spent the meal, as Gippal filled Paine and Nooj in on the dig he had gone through to solidify an alibi, mentally running through Isaaru's possible reactions: fury, apathy, and maybe outright resignation of his position.

Baralai wouldn't be surprised if Isaaru resigned. And he wouldn't be able to blame him.

Isaaru's office door was shut and his receptionist desk empty when they arrived. That was a bad sign for this time of day. But worse was the fact that Shelinda leaned against the wall while a member of her camera crew lounged in the overstuffed chairs Isaaru offered. Her eyes lit up when she saw them at the archway.

"Great," Paine muttered from behind them.

Baralai stopped short and turned to Gippal. "Go back to our quarters."

Gippal looked between Shelinda and Baralai. "But"

"If you care for me _at all_ , you will go back to our quarters and let me handle this," Baralai said. And it was foolish, and he would regret it later, but he tugged Gippal in and kissed him, quick, tracing a palm along his jaw, slightly prickly against Baralai's skin. "Go. Don't open the door for anyone but myself, Isaaru, or my assistants." Gippal stared at him, lips parted, and all Baralai could think of was him smeared in the press because apparently Gippal couldn't stop trying to save Baralai from difficult situations. " _Please_ , Gippal."

He only went because Paine tugged him along and he trailed behind Nooj and Paine when Shelinda approached Baralai, a camera behind her, very obviously recording.

"That was sudden," Shelinda said. "Sending Gippal away."

"We came to meet with Isaaru about the banquet this weekend," Baralai said. "Not to be interviewed about our relationship."

"Praetor Baralai, you know that's not what this is about," Shelinda said. "We've seen all the documents about your city-wide proposal to extend voting rights on council elections and issues to Bevelle citizens, except for the Al Bhed. Can you tell us why you've chosen to support a proposal that disenfranchises an entire group of people, including your significant other?" She held her mic out expectantly.

"I have no comment at this time," Baralai said, hating himself for not seeing this coming, hating Nidus and Varaja, and hating the fact that he had been so short-sighted to expect them to wait to leak the documents after he had threatened Nidus so viciously. "If you'll call my office, I'll be happy to schedule a one on one interview with you this week."

Shelinda frowned at him, but there was no way she was going to pass up an offer like that. She turned to look at her camera operator, gestured, and he nodded and dropped his lens and stepped back, far enough away he wouldn't overhear. 

"Off the record, then," Shelinda said. "This doesn't seem like you, Baralai. But it looks really bad."

"Well, at least I have your confidence that I'm not a corrupt, heartless political monster," he said. "Wasn't that what you called Wethery when you discovered he was siphoning funds from rural orphanages?"

"You're about to be called worse than that by a lot of people with a lot more weight than I have," Shelinda said, seriously. "People feel strongly about robbing orphans, but people in Bevelle also feel strongly about civil rights. We can't not report on this."

"I know," Baralai said. "I'm not asking you to. I know it looks bad. I just have to fix it."

"Unless you're going to pretend you misled your council with falsely laid proposals, I have no clue how you're going to recover," she said. She bit her lip. "Is there anything I can do?"

Baralai took a steadying breath. "I know you have to report on this. But can you go easy on Gippal, please?"

"He understands political scrutiny," Shelinda said.

"But he's never been sleeping with me while under it," Baralai said, wry. He felt gutted, because _if only_. 

"Point taken." She nodded. "Okay. I can't promise anything, but I'll try to keep speculation on his motives down as long as I can."

"I meant it," Baralai said, "about the interview. Just give me some time to talk to Isaaru. I won't talk to anyone else between now and then."

She tilted her head. "I meant what I said, too. It really doesn't seem like you at all. This isn't who you are."

Baralai sighed. "You're about to be the only one who thinks that. Have a good evening."

He left before he could say any more, because a sympathetic Shelinda was a dangerous one. He retreated to his own office, and was relieved to find Isaaru sitting at his desk, fielding a sphere call.

He took a seat across from Isaaru and waited.

"I understand," Isaaru said. "Of course, you'll be refunded in full in ten business days. Yes."

Baralai couldn't make it out who it was, but when Isaaru ended the call he said, "That was one of our vendors. Our _Al Bhed_ vendors. He declined to do more business with us. He's the fourth since the afternoon news report."

Baralai leaned back in his chair.

"What happened?" Isaaru asked.

"Are you resigning?" Baralai asked.

Isaaru's eyes widened. "No. It's worse than just the proposals leaking?"

"Much." Baralai rubbed his face. "I won't hold you to that no."

"Tell me _everything_ ," Isaaru said.

Baralai leaned forward, and told him.

\----------

Baralai didn't make it back to his quarters until the early morning, leaving an exhausted and subdued Isaaru at the hallway to his own rooms. He slipped through the darkened hallways, feeling like he didn't belong. The feeling was stronger than it had ever been, even the day after his appointment when everything was new and overwhelming and terrifying.

His door was unlocked, and the room lit only by a small lamp. The curtains were drawn and with the ambient light Baralai could see Gippal in the shadows of his darkened bedroom. Paine and Nooj were gone; Baralai hoped they hadn't waited up for him too long. Or watched any news reports.

Everything had grown ugly faster than he had anticipated.

He stripped his robes and clothes and hung them, carefully, before slipping into his night clothes. When he emerged from his bath and headed into his room, pulling the doors closed behind him, Gippal was sitting up in the bed, golden and tan and hunched up, waiting.

Baralai stopped at the edge of his side of the bed. "I'm sorry if I woke you."

"Were you just going to come to bed silently and not let me know you were okay?" Gippal asked. " _Don't_ say it's not my burden to carry. I caused this."

"We both caused it," Baralai said. "I threatened Nidus and hurt his pride. Perhaps they would have waited had I held my tongue."

"I should regret that I stole the spheres," Gippal said. "But I don't. I _don't_. You keep giving everything to this job and try to do it all on your own. But I'm sorry I hurt you more doing it."

Baralai crawled into the bed and stretched out. He was sore everywhere and exhausted, but his brain wouldn't slow down. "I don't want to think about the politics anymore today. Did you watch them?" 

Gippal was quiet for some very long, uncertain moments, twisting the sheet between his fists. "Yeah. Just me. There's not a ton there. You fighting with the Gullwings. Our fight with… No—Shuyin. Nooj collapsing. You… well, you know. There were some other things, mostly private conversations with other New Yevon leaders that are bad but not the end of the world. But those main four spheres are pretty hard to watch."

"I'm sorry I got you involved," Baralai said.

Gippal flopped back down into the mattress. The dark hid his expression. "You'd figure we'd learn not to hide things from each other. It doesn't end well."

"You're right," Baralai said.

"There wasn't much about me that was accurate," Gippal said quietly. He turned over to face Baralai. "Shelinda's report was almost nice."

"I asked her to be," Baralai said, inching closer to Gippal's warmth.

"What'd that cost you?"

"An exclusive," he admitted. Gippal huffed at him. "It'll be fine."

"Nothing about this is fine," Gippal said. "Nhadala has called me six times. You know who else? Shinra."

"Oh no," Baralai mocked. "The great Machine Faction leader taken out by a prepubescent teenager with strong political opinions."

"I didn't answer," Gippal said. "What do I say? Everything I could say is contradicted in the press. And I can't claim blackmail with no evidence, even if some of the people would trust me."

"I'm still really mad at you for risking yourself," Baralai said. He dared reaching out to find Gippal's hand, and then squeezed his wrist. "We could have figured it out eventually."

"I know," Gippal said. "You'll forgive me eventually."

"I always do." Baralai closed his eyes and listened to them breathing together. He wanted Gippal here with him all the time. He was spoiling himself by pretending and by stealing these quiet moments. Gippal was warm and steady beside him, and everything that Baralai wanted, even all the irresponsible, reckless parts.

"I—" Gippal whispered it into the dark, and inched closer on the bed, into Baralai's space. "Baralai, I—"

"What?" Baralai said, voice low. He wasn't prepared for more secrets, more revelations, and even if he was still mad at Gippal, he couldn't turn him away.

Gippal kissed him.

He kissed Baralai like he had on their date, deep and determined. Baralai kissed back, because he wanted to, because he was tired of wondering what it would be like to just let go, because it was Gippal and he loved him.

Gippal pulled away to kiss his jaw. "Baralai," he murmured. "Let me—" He wriggled forward and slipped a leg between Baralai's and rolled them over. "Just this once let me—" He cut himself off, kissed Baralai again, and consumed Baralai's heartbroken consent, because _yes_ , if this was all he could ever have of Gippal, he would take it.

" _Yes_ ," he said again when Gippal broke away. He palmed Gippal's bare chest and listened to Gippal groan as he kissed Baralai's jaw and sucked hard at the skin under Baralai's ear. It was nothing compared to the noise he made when Baralai slid his hand in his pants and got his hand on Gippal's dick, hard and warm and wet at the tip.

"You're—" Gippal moaned as Baralai stroked him like he had been dreaming about for years, pressing his forehead into Baralai's cheek. "You're getting ahead of me."

"Better catch up," Baralai said, and twisted his hand. 

"This isn't fair." Gippal whined and thrust into Baralai's grip. Baralai held on to Gippal's hip with his other hand, squeezing the soft skin there with the tips of his fingers. "This was—oh, do that again—my idea."

"I'm the strategist," Baralai said, and twisted his wrist again on the downstroke just to hear Gippal's voice go all breathy. He wished he could see better so he could remember this, file it away, but it was too dark, and there was no way he was going to stop now, take his hands off, or let Gippal go anywhere.

"Oh, fuck," Gippal said, harsh and quiet, and came all over Baralai's hand and his shirt. He dropped to his hands over Baralai and shook as Baralai stroked him through, smearing the mess around the head of Gippal's cock until he whimpered.

"Of course you'd be good at this, you overachiever." Gippal kissed him on his nose and then nuzzled his cheek.

"I'm not unfamiliar with the process," Baralai said, amused despite himself. "I'm responsible with my practice."

"Okay, yes, please keep talking about touching yourself." Gippal kissed him again, bit at his lip and fought through the drawstring on Baralai's pants. "Tell me," Gippal said, rubbing the skin right above Baralai's cock, scratching with his nails. "You ever think about me?"

"Nosy," Baralai said, and arched up, straining for Gippal's hand. 

Gippal nipped at his jaw and let his palm brush Baralai's cock, too lightly every time. "Come on." Gippal dropped down to rest on his knee and elbow, hand a constant tease. "You can admit it. I'm the most attractive. There was a poll."

"Yes." Baralai hissed when Gippal finally wrapped his hand around Baralai's cock, rubbed the head with his thumb. " _All the time_. I think about you all the time."

"Shit," Gippal said, quietly, and then he kissed Baralai and drove him up with quick hands, mechanic's hands; calloused, wide-palmed, and sure. This Baralai had always been certain of, even in his fantasies—Gippal would never be shy, would always dive in, would always take Baralai apart without hesitation. He gulped in air as Gippal stroked him, slow and steady and firm. "Gippal—" he tilted his head up, and Gippal kissed him, relaxed, easy, like he'd been doing it for years instead of just a few weeks. 

"You're always so strong," Gippal said. "For once let me be strong for you, okay?" He kissed Baralai's nose, his cheek, and chin, and pulled Baralai's orgasm out him one languid stroke at a time. Baralai closed his eyes and shuddered through it, tucking his face into Gippal's neck, sweaty and wonderful and, for this moment, his.

He caught his breath slowly, with Gippal plastered to his side and pinning him to the bed. "Are you going to sleep?" He nudged Gippal with a knee. "We're filthy."

"I like you this way," Gippal said. "Mused and dirty and mine."

Baralai's breath caught in his throat, because _if only_. "We'll regret it in the morning."

Gippal muttered something that Baralai missed and rolled over, fumbling on the side table. He came back with a soft cloth—Gippal's shirt, like they were _teenagers_ —and ran it over Baralai's torso. He stopped when he got to Baralai's hand and brought it to his mouth and licked the pad of Baralai's thumb.

"Gippal—" Baralai said, swallowing. 

"I have ideas other than cleaning up," Gippal said, and rolled his body back over Baralai's, laughing.

\----------

When Baralai woke up the next morning, he didn't expect to be alone, so when he was it was like a punch to the gut. It was early; the sun was barely peeking through the windows and his clock said he had an hour before his usual rise time. 

Gippal's side of the bed was empty and cool to the touch. Baralai pressed his face into his pillow and groaned. 

It would be fine; Gippal had said just once, and there hadn't been time to add fine print about morning after cuddling. Baralai wasn't going to be greedy about it. He'd gotten more than he ever thought he would.

He didn't bother turning on his sphere console for the morning news report, but dressed quickly and then headed to his office.

It was thankfully early enough that the halls were only filled with acolytes going about morning chores and they all gave him a wide berth. At this office, he quickly locked his door so only Isaaru could enter and went to sit at his desk.

His open planner gaped at him. He and Isaaru had been up for hours planning a strategy. None of them seemed particularly good. Almost all of them spelled an end to his career as Praetor, even with Isaaru leaking his revised proposal this morning as planned. It was all too little, too late. Nidus and Varaja had gotten what they wanted in the end, which was to discredit him so they could replace him with a leader more suited to being controlled.

He leaned back and wished Gippal had been with him when he woke up. Even if it had been distant and polite, it would have still been a comfort. It was hard to go to work, beginning the arduous process of listening to the messages left since he and Isaaru turned off his office sphere console. 

More and more he wished he had listened to Isaaru and not allowed people to contact him directly instead of going through his assistant. Three hours after the first message and a good hour after his headache started, someone knocked on the door.

Baralai gratefully disconnected from the console and went to open the door. He expected Paine or Nooj, but got Gippal instead, smiling at him.

"Hi," Gippal said.

"Hi." Baralai stepped back to let Gippal in, but Gippal followed him and leaned forward to kiss him, quick and light. Baralai stared at him dumbly as Gippal moved away and shut the door behind him. "You shouldn't be walking around."

"Don't worry, I've been using the service hallways," Gippal said. He stepped back toward Baralai and pulled him close. Baralai dumbly let himself be tugged in. "I woke up and couldn't sleep anymore so went to get us breakfast, but you were already gone when I got back." Gippal nudged Baralai's forehead with his. "Why the rush to get away?"

"What…" Baralai pushed himself out of Gippal's arm. "Why are you _doing_ this? You said once. Once was last night."

Gippal frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"You don't have to keep doing this, okay?" Baralai rubbed his face. "It was a shitty day, and you said once, and I'm not going to ask for more from you."

"You are making zero sense right now," Gippal said. "How much did you sleep?"

"I don't know," Baralai said. "A few hours? But I've got to get back to reality now. I appreciate…" He swallowed. "It was nice. Really nice. But we have to be realistic."

Gippal looked like he was feeling something Baralai couldn't describe. "Realistic," he said, softly. "Why'd you even say yes if that's how it is?"

Baralai grew warm and he squeezed his eyes shut. "Gippal. It's not like it's not obvious. You're… great. But I'm not your type."

Gippal laughed, but it was blunt and unamused. "You were my type last night."

"Yeah, and that was fine. But we have to stay focused to get through the next few weeks and I need to concentrate, not get all tangled up in something that'll be ending soon, anyway."

"Right," Gippal said. "Okay. I get it." He took another step away from Baralai. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's—"

"If you say it's fine again I'm going to punch you," Gippal said, and Baralai stared at him as he tensed up and looked at Baralai like he was… Baralai couldn't find a word. But he hated Gippal looking at him that way. "For the record, you really suck at breaking up with people. You may want to practice, and next time, tell the person who offers you everything, the person that's _in love with you_ , that it's just a one night stand before it happens."

"What?" Baralai asked, heart racing. "Wait, what?" He stepped forward, and Gippal backed up so hard he his back hit the door.

"No," Gippal said. "I'm done with you right now." He unlocked the door and stormed out of the room, past Isaaru, Paine, and Nooj in the waiting area, with Yuna standing beside them. They watched Gippal go by, silent, before turning back to Baralai.

"Well, I'm guessing you screwed that up," Paine said.

" _Children_ ," Nooj said.

"You don't have _enough_ problems right now?" Isaaru asked. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

Yuna bit her lip and gave Baralai a small wave. "Um... hi?"

\----------

Baralai's office was quiet when he finished explaining everything to Yuna, who sat through the whole story, eyes on Baralai's, only looking away when Isaaru added detail. Baralai admired Yuna's skill in listening. He always had, even back when she was training for the long march to her death, when they had both been children and Baralai had never imagined a world in which he would get to know her.

Focusing on catching Yuna up on the situation allowed Baralai to not think too closely about Gippal's blank expression, his declaration of love, spat out like a curse between them. It stung, made him feel hot and heavy-hearted with shame, and had to be dealt with later, anyway.

"This is quite a mess," Yuna said when Isaaru finished his summary of the morning's events on his end, which consisted of resignations of a quarter of Baralai's staff. Another thing Baralai would worry about later.

"His first mistake was giving the racists any quarter whatsoever," Nooj said. Baralai only glanced at him, and he shrugged. "You can't parlay with those people, Baralai. You're not going to convince them to undo their worldview with optimism and a can-do attitude."

"Well, I thought I could handle it and failed. We're here now," Baralai said.

"Some of the fault is mine," Isaaru admitted. "I thought we could discover the depth of their knowledge and have better information to base decisions on. But all my snooping yielded little and took too long besides."

"Okay, Team Pessimism can stop the blame game now," Paine said. She nudged Yuna, who was sitting next to her on the lounge. "Yuna, I know you, and I _know_ that look. You already have a plan."

"You're not going to like it." Yuna looked carefully at Isaaru and then Baralai. "You still have the spheres?"

"Yes," Baralai said. "Gippal said he shipped them to Paine."

"Yes," Paine said. "They came this morning. They're in a crate in Baralai's bathroom under a pile of dirty sheets where I dumped them after taking the order." She grinned at Baralai. "I kept the recorder, though. Might as well keep up appearances. It's nice."

"Well, release them." Yuna barely fought a smile when Nooj and Isaaru immediately started talking over each other, and were only silenced when Paine thumped a fist on the coffee table.

"That's absurd," Isaaru said when Paine shushed Nooj. "After everything, release spheres of the Praetor and you having a physical altercation?"

"Please," Baralai said morosely. "Gippal would rightly say they kicked my ass."

"Raising a hand to the High Summoner isn't a _joke_ ," Isaaru snapped. "It could make what's happening now even worse. You look like you hate the Al Bhed and a video surfaces of you and Yuna fighting? Baralai, please. The council vote later today is going to be damaging enough."

"There's a vote today?" Yuna asked, eyes wide. 

"On a specific agenda, including Baralai's revised proposal, which now looks as if he modified because his relationship with Gippal was revealed," Isaaru said. "I expect anything with his signature will be summarily rejected today of all days."

"Couldn't they vote you out today?" Yuna asked. "I mean, in an emergency vote?"

"No, council rules are very strict about removing the Praetor," Isaaru said. "They can pass a motion to move to vote on his removal at the next session—and they will no doubt do so—but it will have to be debated for another session and then voted on at the session after. And there's no guarantee that such a vote would be successful."

"But no guarantee it won't," Nooj added.

"We're in uncertain waters." Barali leaned back heavily in his chair. "But at this point, I have to assume my time as Praetor is over. It won't hurt anything to release the spheres."

"You can't simply give up," Isaaru said.

"I was selfish." Baralai forced the words out; he had barely been able to admit them to himself. "I wanted to save the Al Bhed from these people who would deny them an equal share of ownership of what we're building. I let my worries about my position and power get in the way of simply ignored Nidus and Varaja and moving forward. I wanted to have everything. But this is a massive change. Maybe all this time, I was only ever meant to have one of them: democracy or this position.

"I knew the blowback to disenfranchising the Al Bhed would be bad. Many of the council members are out of touch with the demographics of Bevelle, and rarely listened to me when I tried to explain how they were changing. By releasing the proposals I allowed myself to be cornered into, they'll see first hand through me how they'll be treated if they allow the Al Bhed to be targeted this way. And maybe they'll think twice." He smiled weakly. "That's a small bright side, isn't it?"

"Baralai," Nooj said. "You can't take on the dark spaces of the world on your own."

"I agree with Nooj." Yuna nodded firmly. 

"Mark the date for Yuna and I agreeing on politics." Nooj raised a brow.

"Shut up, Nooj," Yuna said brightly, as Paine laughed, not bothering to mask her mirth at the face Nooj made. "Baralai, I understand what you're saying. But I don't mean release the spheres without context. I mean... tell your story to someone. Give them the spheres and your honesty. Let them carry it to the people. Give them the chance to trust you now, since you missed it before."

"Yuna…" Paine sighed. "I know you like believing the best of everyone, but do you really think that will work?"

"I don't know." Yuna clasped her hands on her lap, tightly. "But I do know about secrets and lies and how destructive they can be. Honesty may not always work, but it's best to put everything out into the light and let people make informed choices about their future."

The room was quiet while Baralai considered her words. Finally, he said, "I have a meeting with Shelinda."

"I still can't believe you did that," Isaaru muttered.

"That's wonderful." Yuna clapped her hands together. "Shelinda is perfect for this. People really trust her. Get her on your side things will work out."

"You're sure?" Baralai asked Yuna. "They'll come after you, too."

"I am," Yuna said, nodding. "We did the best we knew how to at the time. We learned. After all, _Praetor_ , it's okay to make mistakes. That's _how_ we learn."

Baralai smiled at her, feeling, if not hopeful, then something close to it. "Well, we're about to see if you're right, High Summoner."

\----------

Baralai expected Gippal to be angry. After all, Baralai easily imagined the betrayal he might have felt had their positions been reversed. But he hadn't expected for Gippal to utterly disappear.

Baralai sat on his sofa in his quarters, the crate of stolen spheres open in front of himself on the floor. He hadn't played them, and he wouldn't, even though it would be a nice distraction to the fact that all Gippal's things were gone and Gippal was nowhere to be found.

"You really fucked this up," Baralai said to himself, placing the sphere back in its padded slot.

Baralai hadn't wondered about the easy agreement to such a life-changing farce, but perhaps he should have. He had spent so long convincing himself Gippal would never want him that he could see how Gippal might… love him… and still keep Baralai at a safe distance with words and actions to protect his heart. Hadn't Baralai spent years doing the exact same thing?

He thought about Gippal pressed against him that morning, warm and sweaty and snoring into his neck before Baralai had finally drifted off, happy but heartbroken, knowing it couldn't last. 

Except it had been real and Baralai was a fool.

A knock on his door startled him and he took a deep breath and said, "It's unlocked."

Nooj poked his head in. "Are you sitting in the dark to mope or do you have a legitimate reason?"

"Moping is a legitimate reason," he said. "Also, I just wanted some quiet after the council meeting."

Nooj let himself in and closed the door behind him. "You weren't thinking about the meeting at all. You were moping about a boy."

"Gippal's 22," Baralai said. "You're also not my dad."

"It's a good thing, because you would have terrible coping skills if I had been." Nooj eased himself onto the overstuffed chair to Baralai's left. "You and Gippal will be fine. I don't know what happened, but your forgive each other your faults in time."

"I really hurt him this time." Baralai blinked quickly and looked away from Nooj. "I was too focused on myself and missed everything in front of me."

"Ah, so you have discovered he's stupidly in love with you," Nooj said. "Congratulations, you're the last to know."

Baralai frowned. "What?"

"Once this plot of Paine's kicked in, Gippal might as well have had hearts coming out of his eyes. Unfortunately for us all, you and Gippal are both incredibly emotionally dense." Nooj heaved out a sigh. "Paine and I have mostly cured each other of it, so it can be overcome."

Baralai gaped at him.

"Yes. You were both pining after the other in secret, so focused on not letting the other know because of fear of rejection—something Gippal has never shown with anyone _but_ you—that you missed the other was equally besotted." Nooj eyed him. "Do you want advice? Because we may need to call Paine for that. Although she'll probably tell you to suck it up."

Baralai laughed, feeling a little lighter. "No. No, it's fine. I know what I did and I… I can probably fix it. But I'm not going to force myself on him right now." He snorted. "Not that I could if I wanted to. He's missing."

"Ah." Nooj thumped his cane to the ground and levered himself up. "Moping explained. Well, you just suffered through three hours of a political meeting that would drain a lesser man's self-esteem to the dregs. I don't believe it's good for you to be by yourself. Come to our room and Paine and I will go out for food and we'll have a slumber party, like old times."

"You kick in your sleep, so hard pass," Baralai said. "Sorry you can't eat here."

"Well, the staff that quit will feel very stupid in short order," Nooj said. "Knowing you, you'll rehire them all."

Baralai smiled. "You _do_ know me."

"Up and out," Nooj said. "You have to eat and not turn into a lump of depression. Trust me, it's a sad state. I won't leave you to it."

Baralai stood "Nooj… I… "

Nooj turned to look at him, glasses sparking in the meager light peeking through the drawn curtains. Baralai had been surprised how much he had liked his squadmates, all those years ago. He had been gutted when things fell apart, and buoyed up at their reconnection. He had spent the last few years so thankful for them and their friendship, Nooj's especially, who understood the dark places Baralai struggled with sometimes. 

He had grown up being careful with love; who knew when it would be ripped away by monsters and death? But he hadn't been careful in a long time; not with this man, or with Paine, and not even with Gippal, who he had loved so much he was too afraid to share the scope.

"Thanks," Baralai said. "For everything."

Nooj smiled. "You're just angling for extra fried rice now."

"Oh, did I lowball you?" Baralai asked, grinning. "I wanted a triple order." He followed Nooj out the door, bickering happily.

\----------

Baralai was enjoying the pleasant day the following afternoon on his office balcony when Paine and Yuna walked out to join him. 

"Nice view," Yuna said.

"High cost." Paine propped her arms on the balcony railing and looked over the edge to the throughway below, which was crowded with people returning home from work. "This height reminds me of that one ruin, the one we found on that island—"

"With the broken walkway, right." Yuna wrinkled her nose when Baralai glanced over at her. "I'll take a crowd over whatever was in that water. And Rikku made us hop over the walkway and everything!"

"Did you find anything of interest?" Baralai asked.

"Oh, some relics. Not any spheres, but there was this tiny collection of glass dolls that you could tell someone cared for."

"Oh, and that box machina that made things explode," Paine said. "Remember how Rikku brought it on board and put Brother's favorite hair gel in it?"

Yuna laughed, and Baralai smiled as they talked. He appreciated the effort everyone was making to cheer him up before his meeting with Shelinda, and to keep his mind off Gippal's absence, which had finally managed to make it into the press. Baralai had no idea who was leaking information from the temple; a huge portion of his staff had resigned in the wake of the leaks and more had followed once the vote of no-confidence had passed the council the day before. 

Baralai could admit that the speculation in the press that he had kept the truth about his behavior from Gippal was true. But it wasn't true in the way they believed.

He had no clue if Yuna's plan would work. It buoyed Isaaru's spirits and made Nooj chipper, because Nooj always enjoyed watching people who rushed to judgment too fast squirm, but he suspected it was too little too late to save his role in New Yevon. Baralai was sure he could have done good work, but some things just weren't meant to be. The small solace he had found was that his revised proposal, the one that was as inclusive and liberal as possible, was being praised, even as he himself was being cast as someone attempting to take advantage of circumstance to make himself look better. 

Politics was at times a fool's errand, Baralai thought, almost amused.

"I should go and meet Tidus at the docks," Yuna said, bringing Baralai's attention back to the conversation. "Good luck with Shelinda."

Baralai sighed. "Well, at least she's friendly. Other members of the press have been downright hostile."

"And they don't get a huge scoop," Yuna said, "so boo to them! See you later for dinner."

She passed back through the office doors as Baralai turned to Paine. "Dinner?"

"Yes, we're going out to a place Nooj knows where we can eat in peace and not be bothered," Paine said. "You're invited because otherwise you'll be a 'lump of sadness' in your room all night. Direct quote from Nooj, so the expert has weighed in."

"I'm not that bad."

"You look like someone's died."

Baralai huffed. "I've had a very trying week."

"He's not gonna stay away forever, you know." Paine nudged his shoulder. "Sure, he's hurt and angry, but _you're_ the expert at silent treatment. Gippal likes to poke at things and fix them."

"You didn't see his face." Baralai couldn't stop seeing it; the whole awful conversation had been whirling around in his head all day. "I made him think he was…" He shook his head. "So much of being careful of his feelings."

"Don't be too hard on yourself." Paine's tone was easy, but her look was unimpressed. "However bad you screwed up with him, our current predicament is half his fault for robbing the people who were waiting for a reason to take a shot at you." She shrugged. "Things will calm down, you'll both cool off, you'll talk, and it'll work out."

"So wise, our Paine," someone added, and Baralai turned to see Nooj framed in the doorway. "I hate to break up yet another emotional support session for Baralai, but Shelinda is waiting outside."

Baralai took a deep breath. "Guess it's time."

Paine straightened. "We'll all be waiting in our quarters for word that you're done. You're sure you don't want us with you?"

Baralai nodded. "I'd rather do it alone so I don't get distracted. And Shelinda and Nooj in the same room for a prolonged amount of time is a disaster."

Paine chuckled and headed inside, and Baralai took another deep breath and looked over his city before following.

\----------

Talking to the press was never one of Baralai's favorite activities, but with Shelinda, he at least felt he wasn't going in ill-prepared; he had worked with her enough to know how to listen to her questions and he always worked better in prepared interviews than accosted in the halls or in public. And Shelinda had agreed that she wouldn't run the interview live, per Isaaru's request, which was a concession that Baralai couldn't believe they had won. Baralai was agog that his life was such a mess that Shelinda, notorious for her live interviews, would cede that ground to talk to _him_.

Even with those benefits, after two hours of fielding her questions and explaining his perspective and situation, he was exhausted. He couldn't tell her opinion on anything, nor which way she might spin the story. He took a sip of water as a member of Shelinda's camera crew changed spheres and another handed Shelinda a paper she had brought in from outside. Shelinda read it and nodded, and turned back to Baralai. He steeled himself.

"We're almost done, I promise," she said. "One last thing... Gippal."

Baralai set his expression. "My personal life doesn't have any bearing on the situation. I know it looks that way externally, but the information I've given you clears that up."

"But he's been missing," Shelinda said. "It's notable at this point. And given that your proposals, however doctored to prevent retaliation as they were, targeted the Al Bhed, it hasn't escaped the notice that your Al Bhed partner isn't supporting you."

Baralai took a few steadying, measured breaths. "Gippal does support me. He's always supported me, even when sometimes that support could hurt him. But this is a hard situation, and it's not of his making. We're still learning how to fit together."

"But to leave his partner during such a hard time? You're being impeached and struggling with loss of staff, and now he chooses to take a break from the limelight?"

Baralai swallowed, and then lied, because he wasn't going to allow Gippal to be used as a scapegoat. "I sent him away. He doesn't need to deal with the stress of this mess right now, especially as it was born before we began dating."

"But if you continue as Praetor, he'll have to get used to these scenarios," Shelinda said. "He's an important political figure, as well, and many look to him for guidance."

"If I continue, yes, we'll have to find a balance," Baralai said. He hated everything about this line of questioning. "But finding that balance isn't done in the midst of scandal."

"Well, I hope you're able to find one," Shelinda offered. "You seem very happy with him."

Baralai weighed his options, and despised himself for weighing his options. But Gippal wasn't here to taunt him into trolling the press or mock him for tugging on people's sympathies. Gippal wasn't here at all, and Baralai wasn't sure he trusted Nooj and Paine to be right that Gippal would come back any time soon. 

After all, it hadn't been just words. 

He smiled at Shelinda and hoped it didn't look too pained. "I hope so, too. But even if we can't find a balance, we'll still be close friends. I've loved Gippal for a very long time. My first and last thought is always with his happiness."

Shelinda blinked at him, caught off guard. "Well... thank you for your frankness. This has been fascinating and I appreciate you making the time to speak with us.

"People deserve the truth," Baralai said. "Thank you for providing it to them."

Shelinda stared at Baralai hard for a few seconds before nodding and motioning to her camera crew, who turned off their recorders. Shelinda rose and stepped toward Baralai to fetch his lapel mic.

"That was honest of you," she said, as Baralai handed the mic over.

"I'm always honest." Baralai smiled at her expression. "You're going to take that as a personal challenge, aren't you?"

"Maybe," she said in return. "We don't have many politicians speak as... openly about their partners. And you've been infamously private about your personal life, so that was... something. Now I have two huge stories."

"Please," Baralai said. "My feelings about Gippal aren't more riveting than the hours of material we discussed."

Shelinda shrugged. "I guess we'll see after I edit it all together. Sorry that it's coming out on the day of your big party," she said.

"I have no clue how that's still happening," Baralai admitted. "Off the record, of course, but I'm clueless as to how we still have the staff to cover it after they fled their service due to my mistakes."

"Never doubt Isaaru's organizational skills," Shelinda said. She bowed slightly. "Thank you, Praetor."

"At this point, you may as well call me Baralai," he said, wry. "Start the habit now."

She grinned at him as her crew headed toward the door. "My odds are on you," she said. Before Baralai could respond, she was joining her people and talking loudly with another assistant as they bustled out of the room.

Baralai stood still in the quiet of his office for a moment after they had gone. After a minute, Isaaru appeared in the doorway, with Yamara hovering behind him.

"Oh good, she left you in one piece," he said. "How did it go?"

"Good," Baralai said, and took a moment to resign himself that the future was out of his hands, both politically and personally. "I'm starving. Let's get the others and go to dinner." He followed Isaaru into the room beyond, and closed his office door behind him.

\----------

The last thing Baralai wanted to do the next day was go to a banquet and party with hundreds of people, many who were still angry with him. But somehow Isaaru had managed to retain the staff covering the event or find replacements through sheer force of will.

Baralai wished he had the clout to propose raising Isaaru's salary, but he knew that anything with his name on it was meeting the council secretaries and getting put at the bottom of very large piles or facing no support at all. It was a shame, because Isaaru deserved it.

Even if Baralai would rather spend the night in his quarters buried under his covers.

"You look nice," Paine said when she and Nooj arrived at Baralai's quarters so they could walk to the event hall together. 

"Gippal put it together for me," Baralai said, because Gippal had agonized over Baralai's banquet outfit for hours while Baralai laughed at him from the bed and vetoed most of Gippal's ideas. Baralai hadn't worn this much black in years, but it had made Gippal look at him like he was... something precious.

If only Baralai had paid closer attention to Gippal and stopped worrying about himself. He would have seen everything so much sooner.

Paine's red dress was a bright spot of color against Nooj's dark formal clothes. Baralai had ignored the spare outfit hanging on a hook outside his closet door all day, much like he had ignored his sphere console, buzzing constantly, the news, and the papers delivered by his assistant. As far as Baralai was concerned he wasn't letting the real world in until he stepped in the hall.

"There's news," Nooj said.

"I don't want any," Baralai responded, stepping toward a mirror to adjust his headband. "Unless…" He glanced back. "Gippal?"

Nooj shifted and then shook his head apologetically. "No."

"Pass," Baralai turned back toward the mirror. He kept hoping that Gippal would show up, surprise him, and give him a minute to explain that everything had been a misunderstanding. But he wasn't going to hold his breath over it.

"You'll want to know," Paine said. "Isaaru said."

Baralai sighed. "Okay, ruin my day."

"The kitchen staff who quit returned," Nooj said.

Baralai gaped. "What?"

"Yep." Paine grinned at him.

Baralai's chest ached with relief. He had known that a lot of people would change their minds once they heard the whole story—and another huge group wouldn't even care and would see him as a bad guy no matter what—but he had expected it to take longer. "That's good news." He fumbled with the buttons of his coat. "Really good. Thanks."

"Well, are we ready to go mingle with politicians who are all having a really bad day?" Nooj asked. "I heard there's a chocolate fountain, too."

Baralai laughed and they headed out; putting it off wouldn't make it be over faster.

Of course, by keeping himself ignorant of the news, as soon as he arrived at the event hall he was surrounded by councillors, press, and social climbers that had been invited to celebrate the charity Isaaru had chosen in Gippal's name. He spent the first thirty minutes trying to escape to his table, and was only rescued by Shelinda, which was an irony Baralai wanted to share with Gippal, suddenly and desperately, so they could laugh at him together. She extracted him with a deftness Baralai used to have when he wasn't a mess.

"You used to be good at navigating these things," she said, tucking her arm into his. "We're at the same table."

"It's been awhile," he said, and let himself be led.

"Funny that the guest of honor isn't here," she said. "It's odd that he's missing his own formal introduction to Bevelle's society."

"Bad timing," Baralai offered.

Shelinda stopped them a few feet from the table. "Where is he really, Baralai?"

Baralai sighed. "Am I talking to the press or to you?"

"Me," Shelinda said. "Please give me some credit. You helped me break the story of my career so far, I'm not going to sell you out now."

Baralai rolled his eyes, because he had his doubts. "We had a fight about this whole thing."

Shelinda watched him closely. "Did you break up?"

Baralai said, "I don't know how to answer that right now."

"Okay." She stared at him a few more moments. "Are you all right?"

"Careful," he said. "People will think you have a soft spot for me."

"I do," Shelinda said seriously. "You've been good for New Yevon and Bevelle. What's good for those two means good things for Spira. If you have a nervous breakdown who knows what will happen to the economy." A small smile teased at the corner of her mouth.

Baralai couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, okay. Yes, I'm fine as I can be. I know the optics aren't great, but surely there's plenty of other gossip to talk about besides my inability not to piss off my partner."

"You could say that," Shelinda said. "You're next to Paine and beside Isaaru." She gestured him to his seat. "I promise you're off limits from me for the evening."

He bowed to her before stepping to the table. Paine was seated by Nooj already, but Isaaru wasn't, and the rest of the table was Yuna, Shelinda, her guest, and Tidus. Baralai took his chair gratefully and watched Yuna and Shelinda greet each other while Tidus stole melon balls off Yuna's plate.

"You looked almost happy for longer than five seconds," Paine said. "You all right?"

"Yeah." Baralai sipped from the water glass. "Are you sure you haven't heard anything from Gippal at all?"

Paine shook her head. "Sorry. I even called Rikku to ask, and she cursed you out, then she cursed Gippal out, and then she said you both deserved each other."

"And then hung up after yelling that she didn't know where that bonehead was, anyway," Nooj added. He raised his brows at Paine's look. "What? She used her outdoor voice on a sphere call. I overheard."

"Well, at least we're going to raise money for baby chocobos," Baralai said. Their table had a perfect view of the chocobo ice sculpture that was at the center of one of the buffet square.

"Hope you brushed up on your chocobo facts," Paine murmured as she looked over his shoulder. "Because here come four ranchers with looks of glee on their faces."

Baralai groaned.

\----------

The banquet stretched on into the evening, and through it all Baralai fielded apologies, accusations, and confusion. He endured a long lecture from the council president about being more open and honest with the council about misbehavior, which was eerily similar to the lectures Gippal had subjected him to about trying to take on the entire world himself.

He didn't have to field any interactions with Nidus or Varaja; they kept their distance. He had chosen not to name them publicly, even though he suspected plenty of people on the council and beyond would be able to read between the lines and deduce it was them and their fellows. He wanted the truth out in the open but he could admit to himself he wanted to take them down himself. After all, he had promised Nidus. He wasn't perfect.

The thing that surprised him most was that the leaked spheres from the past found more fascination and curiosity than outrage; Yuna was a coveted presence the whole night and Baralai barely got to say a few words to her except during the formal meal time. People wanted to him to answer the really tough questions about how it felt to have the High Summoner trounce him in combat. After the tenth inquiry, Baralai gave up being exasperated. If it helped his image, people could laugh at him all they wanted.

People asked about Gippal constantly. Baralai made the appropriate excuses and kept his eyes on the doors, hoping to see Gippal appear. But he never did, and three hours in, Baralai finally gave up and focused on asking people for the gil to save baby chocobos.

If there was one thing Baralai knew how to do, it was to take people's money. Plus, people were suckers for baby chocobos. 

He was sitting at his table sipping wine after a particular lucrative donation promise from a politician in Luca as the party started to wind down. People were slowly trickling out the doors, into the nightlife of Bevelle, which would be available until the wee hours.

A hand fell on his shoulder. "You could sneak out," Paine said quietly. "I know you've been thinking about it since you gave up on Gippal."

He shrugged. "Win some, lose some. Looks like my career is safer."

"I'm sorry." She squeezed his neck. "I was sure he'd get over himself enough to show up."

"Can't blame him." Baralai really couldn't blame Gippal for opting out. Baralai wouldn't want to be paraded in front of strangers after being told he was just another fuck and once was enough, thanks. He wasn't going to hold it against Gippal for not bothering. He grimaced at the thought and put his wineglass down. "Yeah, I'd like to escape."

"We'll cover you," she said. "Go get some sleep."

"Thanks." He smiled at her and headed toward the service pass, and up a side stair to the upper level. 

As he walked toward his room, he reviewed the facts. He would probably still be Praetor since he had been all but assured impeachment proceedings would fail in light of the new information. He would have to start figuring out how to sink Nidus and Varaja, but he needed the distance of a few weeks since several councillors were now clamoring for him to name names formally. They had earned half a million for baby chocobos, and he had seen one rancher crying over it, which meant allowing people to come gawk at him had been worth it. He would have to discuss a press release with Isaaru about the end of his relationship with Gippal and get that ball rolling. 

He faltered in his step a little, but corrected as he hit the hall for his quarters. The halls still felt a little empty, but Isaaru had shared that many of the temple acolytes had petitioned for their jobs back, and those Baralai had to approve personally for some reason. Baralai suspected Isaaru just wanted to teach them a lesson.

He unlocked his door and headed in and frowned at the illuminated table lamp as he dropped his keys on the table.

"I knew you were going to rock that outfit."

Baralai jerked his head up.

Gippal said, "Hey." He was kicked back on the couch, looking like he owned the place. "Have a good banquet?"

Baralai couldn't form words. He stood there and stared.

"I heard there was a chocolate fountain," Gippal said. "I love those things."

Baralai swallowed. "I—Where have you been?"

Gippal said, "Mostly Luca, where I spent a lot of gil on hotel rooms and alcohol." He crossed his arms. "Imagine my surprise when there's a special report about New Yevon and I watch it thinking, well, I know all this stuff, anyway, and at least seeing you on a screen means you can't kick me in the heart." He sits forward and bows his head. "Except the fucking end of it you decided to tell the _whole world_ … that. What the fuck, Baralai?"

Baralai didn't respond. He wanted so much to go and pull Gippal to him and beg him to listen, but he didn't deserve to do that anymore.

Gippal shook his head. "I don't even know what to think. You send constant mixed messages, you act like you want me but then act like I'm just some random one night stand, then you tell Spira that you love me. I'm so confused. You're _confusing_. I don't even know why I came back so soon, except that I wanted you to…" He huffed.

Baralai said, "Wanted me to what?"

"Shut up," Gippal said, so Baralai did. "This whole pretending to date came back around to bite me in the ass. I thought, oh, it'll be fine. It's just a little fun. Except then I _kissed_ you and it wasn't fine anymore. And you kissed me back, and it didn't feel fake." He stood and paced backwards, putting the sofa between them. "And then you slept with me. Like, I thought, it's a risk, but maybe. Maybe it'll be worth it. Maybe if I give him time he'll be in love with me, too. But it wasn't worth it because you didn't actually want me."

Baralai watched him for a moment, his throat aching around the lump that had formed as he held his tongue. Gippal rubbed his face, and his eyepatch went a little lopsided. It was endearing and adorable and Baralai wanted to fix it and fix them but he didn't know how.

"Are you going to say anything?" Gippal asked.

"You told me to shut up," Baralai said. "I'm trying not to push."

"Okay, well now you can stop shutting up and just finish breaking my heart or whatever," Gippal said desperately. "So then I can move on and we can go back to being friends and I—"

"I'm in love with you." Baralai didn't raise his voice. "Gippal, I've been in love with you a very long time."

Gippal seemed uncertain. "That was… you treat people you're in love with like they're…"

"I made a mistake. But it was an honest one. You said once," Baralai said quietly. " _Just this once_. Plus, I'm not your type. You said that, too. I'm only following the cues you've given me, Gippal."

"You're full of shit," Gippal said, glaring. "In what reality is that even a—! I'm pretty sure we fucked and you were my type then. _Vocally_. Multiple times."

"Well, you did say it. You don't do classy boyfriends like me, and that's what I am and probably will be so long as I hold this position, because I have to be. And this entire farce has been torture since you left and I realized how you've felt this whole time and how I was too oblivious to see it because I was terrified of driving you away. If I could go back and tell Isaaru and Paine to shove their brilliant plan, I would, because having you and not actually having you was agonizing." Baralai threw up his hands. "I don't know what else you want me to say!"

Gippal stared at him. "You're the one who—you're always pulling away, always pointing out when we were in public, always keeping me at a distance! And you're going to stand there and accuse me of—" 

"Yes, because obviously letting you grind on me in public would have helped my secret attraction stay secret," Baralai said, annoyed. "Surprise, I'm in love with you and attracted to you and I didn't want to be indecent about it when I thought you didn't care for me that way."

Gippal shuddered, mouth agape, and then started laughing.

Baralai crossed his arms; Gippal was turning red and grasping for the arm of the sofa. 

"This isn't funny." Baralai crossed his arms. That only made Gippal start to wheeze, and he blew out a breath waiting for Gippal to stop.

"Wow," Gippal managed, finally, grinning at him. "Wow."

"I hope you're enjoying laughing at my very heartfelt admission of love," Baralai said. It wasn't like it was a new pastime, having Gippal laugh at him, but this stung.

Gippal's eyes softened. "You're such a fool. _I'm_ a fool. I've been in love with you for years, too."

Baralai prepared to tell Gippal exactly what he thought of being called names during an argument, but was brought up short. "What?"

"I'm in love with you and have been for ages," Gippal said again. "I just thought you didn't like me that way. I didn't think you went for… well, someone like me. You're so reserved. I would have never figured it out."

Baralai searched for the right words. "I—I thought—"

"Yeah, yeah, we're both oblivious, Captain Self-Esteem," Gippal said. He smiled, and it was beautiful. He was beautiful. "You love me. And I love you."

He grinned at Baralai long enough that Baralai couldn't help but grin back. Gippal finally looked away and scuffed the rug with his boot. "Okay. I'm gonna come over there now."

"Well, I _suppose_ ," Baralai said, not bothering to resist a smile as Gippal stepped around the sofa and wrapped Baralai up in his arms. He was so warm and he smelled right and Baralai never wanted to let him go. "Even though you laughed at me." He murmured it into Gippal's neck.

"Well, I realized the argument we were having was nuts," Gippal said. "Utterly ridiculous," he said, copying Baralai's tone. "You're such a fucking politician. I never knew. You're my _best friend_ and I never even had a clue you wanted all up in this."

"Didn't want you to," Baralai said softly, as Gippal pressed a kiss to his jaw. "Too afraid of ruining everything."

"I'll always have your back, remember?" Gippal kissed his nose, and it was silly, but wonderful. "Nothing's ruined. Everything's fine. Great, even."

"Except for the part where we have to work on our communication skills," Baralai said as Gippal ran a hand up his neck into his hair. He closed his eyes. "Tell me again."

Gippal snickered, but said, "I love you." He kissed Baralai's cheek. "Sap."

"Don't ruin my moment. Don't you know that I'm very lucky?" Baralai opened his eyes and leaned forward, but didn't close the gap between their mouths. "After all, you're a catch."

"Damn _right_ ," Gippal said, and finally, finally, kissed him.

\----------

"I've signed off on the last of the documents," Baralai said to Isaaru two weeks later as he put away his things on his desk. "I'm calling it now. I'm officially on vacation."

"For four whole days," Isaaru said. "Be still my heart."

"Don't worry," Gippal said from where he was lounging on one of the sofas, waiting for Baralai to be done for the day. "There's plenty to do with four days. I've got so many ideas."

"Spare me," Isaaru said. He handed Baralai a folder. "From Yamara, who says all your tickets and reservations are here and to not call her back early due to any scandals because if you do she will resign."

"Tough love," Gippal said. "Don't worry, I don't plan to let him out much."

Isaaru raised a brow at Baralai and left the office, shutting the door behind him.

"You shouldn't aggravate Isaaru," Baralai said. "He's been very supportive."

"I gotta brag, though." Gippal grinned as Baralai made his way over to the sofa. "I bagged the Praetor of New Yevon, who is seeing massive spikes in popularity among the youths for his future-forward plans of democracy."

"Well, right now I'm only interested in one youth opinion. To celebrate the start of our vacation," Baralai said, and pushed Gippal deeper into the couch so he could whisper in his ear in Al Bhed. "How do you feel about breaking all my rules and fucking me on this couch?"

Gippal licked his bottom lip; his expression was greedy, because he loved when Baralai talked to him that way, and Baralai loved exploiting it.

"I'm in favor," he said, putting his hands on Baralai's robes so he could start working them over Baralai's shoulders.

"Motion seconded," Baralai murmured, and kissed Gippal on the mouth, gently, teasing.

"Resolution carried," Gippal said, and Baralai laughed as Gippal tugged him down.

**Author's Note:**

> This was started as a birthday gift for Susan in October of 2015. It was finished a few weeks before her birthday in 2016. Happy birthday, pal, sorry I'm listed under the definition of "anxious writer".


End file.
